Saturday, December 24, 2005
X'Mas Musings ...
Every year, I seem to dislike Christmas more and more. It seems so commercialised, so misguided, so cliched. Touted everywhere is "the spirit of giving", "spread the joy" and god knows what else.Spent the day at Grandma's place. Meals were as delicious, but there was a certain air of gloom. No one was truly happy, so to speak. Aunty Cat's family was visibly missing, after an especially strategic planned trip to Malacca. I wonder what the hell has she to avoid EVERYONE of us. Another stupid, petty "problem".
Two years ago, I had the most fucked up X'mas eve ever. Period. I didnt even know why in the blue hell I went to her place .. but it was horrible for the both of us. In the end, I was gloomy at Grandma's place. Was the first time in 3 yrs I spent Xmas without her.
So ended the nerve wrecking chore of finding the suitable present, doing endless amount of interviewing and recon work, scouting for the best prices. "Hurray".
I don't know how long will it take for me to really let it all go, if its possible in the first place. Thankfully, there are things like FTX (full troop excersise) and BPT (Battallion Profiency Test) and ATEC and India to keep me well occupied.
I've wondered what would happen if we lasted till now. I think the answer is pretty apparent: We wouldn't have lasted. Too many problems lying ahead. Waiting for us to quarrel over it, to cry over it, to worry over it, and to break up over it. I'm even afraid to see her again. Well done.
Seriously, I think I did alot of things wrongly. I waited too long to start things up. And to stop things. Procrastinated incessantly to the brink of paranoia. Heh.
God damn it. I wanted to get quite a few things for myself, but in the end, decided against it.
Actually, I'm glad that I'm doing standby tomorrow. Everythings a blessing in disguise.
Posted by Unknown at 12/24/2005 10:28:00 pm
Saturday, December 17, 2005
This is going to be long.
I'll type out my thoughts on today's meeting. People who were made bored by me, my sincere apologies.JNCO Passing & Failing
Firstly, I think the everyone, yes everyone, should pass JNCO. Because for this few fundamental reasons : -
1. Failing JNCO would act as a barrier in the course of their CCA ...
2. Which in turns affect their education ... which in turn might/ might not lead to further repurcussions.
3. Camp performance is not representative
of Corp performance
4. A persons qualities are not quantifiable. i.e. represented by numbers.
5. Its not always the trainees fault. Environmental factors count. (Family background)
6. What constitutes to an "Attitude Problem"?
I think there are always much much better solutions rather than to simply fail someone. We fail all the time. But that doesnt mean we should give up the next try. Success could just be waiting around the corner.
Besides, alot of time I think it is us instructors who didnt do a good enough job in training our kids, which brings on to my next point ...
Elitism
Its just human nature to focus on the positive and magnify it. We always focus on the strong, the smart, the beautiful. We dismiss the mediocre, the plain, and the weaker people. In JNCO, SNCO, i think we've fallen in this "trap".
The I/Cs are always the good ones. Question is: If they're good, why put them in place to be I/Cs?
The Answer and Simple Truth:
Because the camp "has to be run smoothly". Which I think ... is utter and sheer hyprocrisy, because the top always claim JU/SEnco as a "learning camp". How can it be a learning camp if only the "good ones" do the "learning"?
Again, the management has to feel good about itself because the camp has to run smoothly and with good I/Cs in place, it is bound to do so. They are afraid of screwing things up, which in turns reflects badly on them. Vicious cycle.
ES and the TIC from hell
No one is perfect. Everyone screws up. Some people screw up more the others. But it doesnt matter and life goes on.
The problem with us again is we keep focussing on the negative side, and keep mulling over history and opening wound after wound, perhaps to fulfil some perverse need to feel hurt and thus giving us another reason to hate him.
That is the problem. So solve it. Otherwise, it is NOT GOING TO END. Period. If we don't have a solution, let us at least not create any additional problems.
Cheow Hong, WX and the rest involved with the CCA thingie:
I really have this sincere believe that thisCCA open house is going to be a success. With the ideas we had today, we have a pretty solid framework to actually go all out to impress. Not just the kids but also our own guys. The movie, the tunnel etc are all very good ideas ... put tt in place i think we might be the best. --- That is how sure I am. It can be done. I can feel it.
To my dearestest Lee Ling who must have missed me during SENCO:
U've been missed dearly. If ever we have SENCO, (which we would), we'll work together again and create more havoc and mayhem and laughter and many more pleasant memories.
Firstly, I think the everyone, yes everyone, should pass JNCO. Because for this few fundamental reasons : -
1. Failing JNCO would act as a barrier in the course of their CCA ...
2. Which in turns affect their education ... which in turn might/ might not lead to further repurcussions.
3. Camp performance is not representative
of Corp performance4. A persons qualities are not quantifiable. i.e. represented by numbers.
5. Its not always the trainees fault. Environmental factors count. (Family background)
6. What constitutes to an "Attitude Problem"?
I think there are always much much better solutions rather than to simply fail someone. We fail all the time. But that doesnt mean we should give up the next try. Success could just be waiting around the corner.
Besides, alot of time I think it is us instructors who didnt do a good enough job in training our kids, which brings on to my next point ...
Elitism
Its just human nature to focus on the positive and magnify it. We always focus on the strong, the smart, the beautiful. We dismiss the mediocre, the plain, and the weaker people. In JNCO, SNCO, i think we've fallen in this "trap".
The I/Cs are always the good ones. Question is: If they're good, why put them in place to be I/Cs?
The Answer and Simple Truth:
Because the camp "has to be run smoothly". Which I think ... is utter and sheer hyprocrisy, because the top always claim JU/SEnco as a "learning camp". How can it be a learning camp if only the "good ones" do the "learning"?
Again, the management has to feel good about itself because the camp has to run smoothly and with good I/Cs in place, it is bound to do so. They are afraid of screwing things up, which in turns reflects badly on them. Vicious cycle.
ES and the TIC from hell
No one is perfect. Everyone screws up. Some people screw up more the others. But it doesnt matter and life goes on.
The problem with us again is we keep focussing on the negative side, and keep mulling over history and opening wound after wound, perhaps to fulfil some perverse need to feel hurt and thus giving us another reason to hate him.
That is the problem. So solve it. Otherwise, it is NOT GOING TO END. Period. If we don't have a solution, let us at least not create any additional problems.
Cheow Hong, WX and the rest involved with the CCA thingie:
I really have this sincere believe that thisCCA open house is going to be a success. With the ideas we had today, we have a pretty solid framework to actually go all out to impress. Not just the kids but also our own guys. The movie, the tunnel etc are all very good ideas ... put tt in place i think we might be the best. --- That is how sure I am. It can be done. I can feel it.
To my dearestest Lee Ling who must have missed me during SENCO:
U've been missed dearly. If ever we have SENCO, (which we would), we'll work together again and create more havoc and mayhem and laughter and many more pleasant memories.
Posted by Unknown at 12/17/2005 10:56:00 pm
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Feel like just writing something ...
I've found out, you can never really forget a person. It doesnt happen just like that. No matter what you do, once a person enters and changes your life, you won't forget. So now there's a gap, and also probably the reason why I'm punching keys: Because I've no one to write to now. This month I realised, I had alot of dreams. (Alas, all in the comfort of Keat Hong Camp .. haha.) 5 mnts since everything happened. Only told PL about it yesterday ...Read in the Straits Times or NewPaper, that bloggers usually discuss their lunch routine. Hope I'm not susceptible to that ... Who gives a damn whether you went to Heerens to buy some CD or
Quite excited in meeting my new section. Hopefully won't screw things up, which happens like usually. In the army that is. Maybe I'm not cut up to be a soldier. Haha .. maybe I'm just acting stupid. Hey .. maybe I'm not acting. Haha.
Just completed Lectures 0 thru 2 of the Computer Prog methologies ... hope it serves as a head start for someone slow like me.
Thinking about St John:
The people in St John, to me, are like family. I'll always get this warm hearty feeling whenever I'm back. Its always good to see some familiar faces. I think many people feel that way too, but then, its a double edged sword. (For those feeling a slight tinge of guilt, read on)
We always tell our instructors not to get over friendly with trainees, juniors, subordinates. But I think many would find it imposible to do.
Thing is, I find it a completely natural and easy thing to accomplish. But then upon close reflection, I found that sometimes telling and even showing people how to do things "right" still doesnt drive the message across. So I think the main problem is simply (me) getting people to do things MY way.
I've always been experimenting with different methods to deal with people. Methods often deemed undesirable. That being said, I've always give a bad first impression .. ha. One of my favourites is this: "Treat your suboridinates like a kite. Hold on to them, let them fly. But when they fly to high, reel them in a little" Although I'm uncomforatble with the word "subordinate", but I guess you get the general idea.
Nothing really changes.
I've contemplated what would PHS SJAB be with/without me. I came to conclude it wouldnt matter. We adapt, dont we. After 5 mnths, I've learnt to adapt. Or maybe not.
I'm puzzled why many of us worry about the most minute of problems. Unless it a big problem (however you defind "big"), I would really wish for them to deal it themselves. How would they learn?
Think of it this way: Life is one BIG Sit Test. U get the basic rules, you play the game with whatever materials you have. Minimal guidance. Same with life, you don't hold their hands all the way. Its good to sit back and watch. (eg: SNCO, JNCO watever -CO, its no kick. Worry for #$^&!)
For those few reading, if you can comprehend, good for you. you can get angry with me, but the only reason you guys would be angry it because wat I said struck a chord with your concience.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Something's missing in my life, I feel. I guess this is what happens when its late, you're t ired, have too much on your mind, have a nice sad love song playing, when the end of the year draws near, miss certain people around you, and worry.
Posted by Unknown at 12/11/2005 01:01:00 am
Thursday, December 08, 2005
This Blog is for Chiying .. who said i cheated her. haha.
Woah ~ I'm hooked on "Hung Up"... Perfect retro disco song ... time to turn up my disco lights ... (I reall have one Disco Ball ... PL shd noe .. heh)We had commanders training at 40 SAR on Mon and Tues ... supposed to do Delay Ops ... lucky never do .. cos need to dig shellscrap .. NOT GOOD. But its inevitable that we'll have to dig someday .. so till that day comes .. FTX coming up .. with BPT and all the other shit.
Might go with Bro Boon to Ms Chang's place ... my Sec 1 teacher ... long long long time I've never seen her. haha. Time to relive some cockster moments. Haha.
Finally know I'm going to be a Section Commander to Pl 3 Section 3 ... heard my PC had to "fight for us" to get into his platoon. Hope its a good thing ... haha. Platoon 3 seems to be the most guai one ... so thank god.. plus PC not bad himself. Haha ... yeah ~ I'm a happy man .. MK going to be my VC ... i think quite ok la ... plus he lives few blocks from me .
Jinping is one lucky girl .. went around taking pictures with Dick Lee ... Durian King ... lead actress from A Twist of Fate ... so shiok.
Cant go any further ... haha. Wanted to say alot of things ... But I'll stop for now.