ben, unix, me.

Post #68

2009-03-01T01:34:00.002+08:00

I'm so happy now, although I hesitate to list which one first, so I'll do it in chronological order.

(1) NOC

If everything goes well, yours truly would be heading to Silicon Valley in July! HY said she'll get me a webcam ... So i'll hold her to her promise ... Hee. So far a few people want me to pack them into the luggage ... hmmm ~ I'm terribly excited ... So far, there's 74 people who got into NOC, and 21 going to SV. I feel lucky.

(2) hL

Her, I didnt expect at all. I have been feeling huge doses of happiness ever since. All the "Ying" and the "Lings" have know about it already... :-). Ling and Ying would probably tie it to the "Project Blood Bros" bag 1++ year back ... haha. I guess the effect took abit longer than expected ...

Still feel like a bundle of nerves. But its a good feeeling. We're going out tml! Happiness.

I wish I could pack hL (and a host of other people [I wasnt coerced into saying this]) along to SV ...

(3) Support from lots of people

People all around me were genuinely happy for me. That makes me very happy too.

Thank you all.

TMTOWTDI

2008-12-27T02:29:00.003+08:00

Woot! Terrorists Win. "Last Post, 31st Dec 2007".

The year is coming to an end.

Things that have happened in a nutshell:

(1) My bookcase looks just as neat. Mission to become relatively-permanently neat : Accomplished.

(2) Had better results compared to previous semesters. All the "English Writing" modules didn't disappoint.

(3) The World's going crazy.

(4) State of music still sucks.

(5) No-one can be trusted completely. Still.*

(6) M'sia is still as interesting as ever. Boleh!

So much negativity around. Happy abit! Do everything with an open heart.

* When I think of this, its actually a good thing. It minimises expectations you have of everyone around you. When shit happens, part of you says, "Aiya. Shit happens." In the end, everyone is self-interested. [I'm still affected by the philo essay ...]

Come to thing of it ... this solves alot of potential problems ...

(1) Pple fly-kite ? use (*)
(2) Backstabbed? use (*). But this shouldnt happen cos you didnt trust the person in the first place ...
(3) Person said something you don't like ? use (*)

That being said, this is all too simplistic but its approaching 3am.
----

I think there's an atheist movement growing in UK and US. Religion is a frightening weapon.

If God existed, he/she probably pang-kang long time ago. Whoever gets divine revelations now would probably be deemed crazy. Too bad last time there wasnt IMH.

Maybe SMS/Email/Satellite would be a less painful way. (And why to one person per message. So inefficient. 255.255.255.255 it! (Broadcast)

----

Now busy with
(1) CCNA
(2) C#
(3) Perl
(4) OS?
(5) Planning ....

Till next (month|year)

Spring Cleaning. My Bookshelf.

2007-12-31T00:54:00.000+08:00

The End Result of 20 minutes of sorting:

Yeah! Finally got around to sort out all the books I have on my shelf!!!

Top Left: LKY books, some books on armoured tanks, a Mao Ze Dong book and a Chiang Keishek book. My two cherished Clive Barker's Books of blood vol 1 to 6.

Top Right: Lecture notes. Haha.

Centre Left: I should have 6 or more Tom Clancy books. Some books on plants, ferns especially. Used to love studying about ferns long time ago. Havent got to read some of the middle pile stuff yet.

Centre Right: My Jeffrey Deaver and Stephen King collection. Have most of the Lincoln Rhyme series. I think I've lent "It" to KAREN TANG! who I think also hasnt return it to me yet. That was my first Stephen King book.... Sobs.

Bottom Left: Computer books. My Foreign affairs journals. YU HAN'S BOOK!. And a pile of dictionaries. I wonder how come we have so many dictionaries ... hmm.

Bottom Right: MY computer books! Muak muak!

Bottom of bottom Right: And the books continue ...

And I think i'll need to clear more space ...

I see your smile.

2007-12-29T12:07:00.000+08:00

Hey hey, another nice vid. IMHO.

Bo Way Gong*

2007-12-29T01:31:00.000+08:00

*nth to say.

Got back my results. Not fantastic. Slightly worrying. But I'm glad I've cleared 1231 and 1505. Hurray! Must remind myself to send Liming a thank-you email.

My freaking sister's CAP is 4.8. Hahaha.

I've not seen TPL in a long time. Lesson learnt: Shd go out with her only. And not with other Top 7 pple. I shall explain if she's asks me. :D. Will jio her out soon.

Wonder how Bro is doing.

I miss school.

A couple of FSCs to go on the 31st. 2 X yishun ones.

Studying about linked lists *now*.
---

Pakistan is in deep shit. Confirm Musharraf the asshole will impose emergency rule again. And Mr. Shifty-eyes (read: US ambassador of Pakistan (or the other way round)) will have to shut his hole.

Shifty eyes: ... Pakistan will be in a state of national EMERGENCY ... (corrects himself) mourning.

Maybe God was on a holiday also.

I love Singapore.

This is for the people who enjoy good musics and not all this shitty people on MTV:

Marilyn Martin and David Foster. TPL and HY *SHALL* enjoy this. I cant imagine who wouldnt.

Stunning XMas.

2007-12-25T22:07:00.000+08:00

X Mas Day.

Oh my, I don't know where to start. So we'll start from the most recent.

Went to Aunty's house today. Roast beef. Rendang. Turkey. Curry. :D.

Aunty Roni got me a Razor Mouse! Totally stunned! :D.

But, I still don't like Christmas. And Christmas songs. Hallelujah. Let's do some killing. Amen.

----

Eve.

I was absolutely stunned to be part of the minority. Well, good experience. Didnt eat that much, but was wonderful to see KY and AN (Aw Nee == Yanni) and Si Jie! Totally enjoyable to talk army with him.

---

Day before eve. Discovery Centre.

Went with these bunch of people. Full of talk cock, and sing song. Then met with HS and Jacko for makan at Jurong Point. Perfect group size.
----

Not really in the mood to carry on though. Maybe its because I'm getting the damn results in like 24 hrs time. Then resuming the ComCare MCYS/NCSS thingie at Bedok. Tml. Sobs.

---

Over n out.

import java.util.* insertTitle{};

2007-12-21T00:44:00.000+08:00

I heard this Michael Jackson song on Gold90, and I was totally hooked. Don't believe, try listening.

The chorus is already crazy (for lack of a better word) and very very very smooth. (Like baby's backside). For lack of a better description. Haha. Try listening and NOT move.

Fiona looks much prettier. Haha. (<-- see I said something nice and actually mean it.)

//chorus

Chorus
So tonight gotta leave that nine to five upon the shelf
And just enjoy yourself
Groove, let the madness in the music get to you
Life aint so bad at all
If you live it off the wall
Life aint so bad at all (live life off the wall)
Live your life off the wall (live it off the wall)

//end chorus
I think i'm hearing this song for the 30th time today. Ha ha.

Fell into Mei Zhu's blog. new term: "default ben"

Ms Lim:

I think EVERYONE of the EXOC are VERY VERY happy to leave. And its precisely that we've been inside for "a quarter of our lives" that we can bear to leave. Actually there's no "bearing" involve. Maybe you'll know 3/4 of 1/4 of your life later. (i.e. 3/16 of your life later)

All of us are happy to try something (read:) *NEW*. But cant really expect anyone to understand. And none of us can do anything even if we tried.

EXOC: Its gonna close in 2011. (My bet is sooner)

Gonna head down to the TeleCentre to play around with their systems tml. Then I wonder wat we can do after that. ~-_-~

Wa, seeing my blog so filled with COLOURS ... so happy.

Clarke Quay - First EXOC meeting.

2007-12-20T00:40:00.000+08:00

Ling and ying. Featuring Ling's 100-Watts bulb. (nose)

Wei Xiang and Ling. Featuring with all new red nose button.

Ling with da man himself. Presenting the girl with the red red nose. Hahaha.

Well well, went around Singapore (actually only 3 places) to do some community service thingie with Ash, Vi and Hans, then went to his place to fix up the computer. :D.

Then met the EXOC at Clarke Quay and ate a sumptuous Indo bbq meal. Haha. Thankz to sis for the tip. Each had to pay 16 ... but I think not bad, given the company. :D.

So again, we talked and bitched about the people we know, our previous school, our current ones, army, politics, a little science here and there, more politics, why Protons should remain just they way they and not ... *gasp* CARS.

Feeling sleepy, but contented. Clarke Quay didnt seem to be bustling with life today, not as many Ghosts, Gui, Crazy People (TM), Xiao Gi Na etc.

Crap the pictures look grainy.

It was damn fun to go out with them and talk cock sing song again. Next sem meeting commences.

This is the Chairman signing out. (I'm so stun PL reads the blog).

M'sia Trip !

2007-12-18T23:08:00.000+08:00

M'sia trip was fun :) Though I wished we could go more places ... hahaha. But but but .. I managed to snag a copy of TAoCP!!! OMG. Saw it standing at the Kinokuniya at KLCC. My total shopping time: 1 minute and 30 seconds. Here are a couple of pics ...

My 2 insane sisters. The damn place which we eat which I shall not reveal its name (read: SECRET RECIPE) totally sucked. Still had the cheek to put "Best food award for excellence - Singapore." and some award in Indo and another award in M'sia. Pui! Sucked ass.
This is to show how satisfied I was to eat their pasta. Which totally didnt have any sauce. And you needed to pay for the water. Stunnable. I think Mum didnt really enjoy her meal too. Hahahah.

Ma and Pops. Behind the KLCC.

I wanted to go to the top. But they were out of tickets. Damn. I wish I could have PAID for them, haha. The irony.

Overall, I enjoyed the trip totally. In part because I managed to get my books. :D Fancy going for a trip to stumble upon the hard to find computer book. Eh. :D

I Think HuiYing would like this ...

2007-12-14T01:26:00.001+08:00

Theres distance between us
And youre on my mind
As I lay here in the darkness
I can find no peace inside
I wish you were here holding me tight
If I had you near it would make it alright
I wish you were here
cause I feel like a child tonight

Rain on my window
I can count the drops
But I cant help feeling lonely
Theres no way I can stop
I wish you were here holding me tight
If I had you near it would make it alright
I wish you were here
cause I feel like a child tonight

Each moment is a memory
Time is so unkind
Every hour, filled with an emptiness I cant hide
Theres distance between us
And youre on my mind
As I lay here in the darkness
I can find no peace inside
I wish you were here holding me tight
If I had you near it would make it alright
I wish you were here
cause I feel like a child tonight

Haha ... don't usually post music videos .. but this particular song is also quite hard to find. :D. Enjoy pple.

ToDoList[]

2007-12-14T00:08:00.001+08:00

Ben's making a list ... he's checking it twice ...

List[] ToDoList= new List[6];

ToDoList[0] = Exceptions;
ToDoList[1] = File IO;
ToDoList[2] = Generics;
ToDoList[3] = Inheritance;
ToDoList[4] = Abstract stuff;
ToDoList[5] = Polymorphism;

compiler complains: ToDoList; NullPointerException. (i.e. didnt got to do most of them. hahaha.)

I think once you get your fingers off programming for a while ... your brain starts to shift back to reverse gear.

//end paragraph.

//start new one.

was going through some photos, you know those realli tiny square onces you see in MSN ? Haha. Saw one particular one. I'm a happy man. I still owe her some cards. Hmm. I owe me to owe her some cards. Eh, tt sounds more right.

//:~

Wanted to go for the Kitaro concert ... but decided against it. But ... if ... this happens ... I don't mind splurging:

(1) ACDC comes to espanade/indoor stadium (I think confirm got speakers blow up)
(2) Scorpions come to (same location)
(3) Def Leppard ... I'll think abit.
(4) Fiona does a rudolf.

What I want for X-Mas.

(1) Bush and Cheney impeached.
(2) Indosat to crash out of orbit.
(3) More CIA whistleblowers.
(4) Everyone I know to be safe and happy. Even the ones I don't really like.
(5) For (1) to happen. :D.

I'm craving for some Bacardi ...

public class MabBdae { //insert code }

2007-12-12T00:12:00.001+08:00

TPL, Shell, Mab, ML, Yours Truly, Goldfish, Tang Lau Shi. *

I'm going to kill Goldfish for not giving me the rest of the photos. Grr. Visibly not present was our Isaac.

*How come my primary school ddint have teachers like that? Sighs.

Too bad none of the broz took pic for da Ah-gou outing.

i-dunlike-Phones

2007-12-10T21:07:00.001+08:00

Haha. I just realize my problem isnt really that weird/unique after all.

One thing which I absolutely hate is to call a person on my mobile, or answer a call from a stranger, or even pick up the phone whom I'm not familiar with (but still in my contact list). (No Sam, I didn't mind talking to you. :D)

Now, I believe some people have absolutely no qualms about speaking for minutes and even hours on the phone. Just look at all the people in the MRT trains, buses etc. But I prefer my conversation (if any) short and sweet and to the damn point. This probably explains my never-hit-more-than-30-dollars phone bill.

Eh, sometimes I even regard my phone as more of a nuisance. I especially hate it when people I don't really like or feel like talking to calls me.

My schedule for December:

15-16 - M'sia.
19 - Ex-officer meeting
22 - Science centre with some gd pple. :)

In between will be reading my CS1102 stuff. Much thanks to *StrawBerry* for hunting down the notes for me.

Heard from sources saying that our favourite teacher is outta the school. Hope its true. Maybe he/she should consider a change in profession. But still. if there's any ounce of truth in it, its still too little too late. But I'm so glad I'm out.

Cant believe Sam didnt know I was out. Hahahaha. "Don't ... lemme be the last to know ... Don't ..."

The 6 brudders are all single again. The presidency has been reestablished and cabinet has been reshuffled. Oh well.

Ulcer. Ouch. Headache. Normal la.

Got insipiration on what to buy for Pauling ... hahaha. :D.

Finally FINALLY ... channel 5 is airing
RAMBO IV!!!!

I think it promisses to be mindless shooting fun.

I have no patience to read peoples blog. Does anyone still read mine ? hahahahahah. *clears rubbish*

Bush is an asshole. So is Hillary. Pui!

"Last Post, 12 Jul"

2007-11-30T23:04:00.000+08:00

Ha. Ha. I'm not a blog person. I cant even upkeep a blog that i was SUPPOSED to do for my CS1105 CA.

Much has changed, more has remained the same.

I'm back to studying (Hurray)

I wont be back to Lavender. Or Hq. (Double hurray!)
Anyway, heard from sources that corps gonna close down in 2 yrs. Do they need a catalyst or something ?

Recently caught up with TPL, Mab, Karen, Michelle, Meiling, Goldfish at some veg cafe at Bishan Park 2. True enough, TPL was filled with immense (non-) faith of my Topo-ing skills. Ended up at park one or something. Then I realised I had read the wrong bus no. Shit.

But it was damn fun to talk about everyone from register no. #1 to #42 then move on to 4 Endurance, 4 Faith ... then zoom back to Sec 1 ... Forgot to remind karen about the bouncing episode. " (_._) "

Veg food is ex. Ouch.

Still, it was really good to see all of em again. Though it hasnt been THAT long a time since I've saw da girls. Isaac was supposed to be there. But SOMEONE got exam.

8 years has passed. Hahaha. Mab is still short as ever.

Time's a-racing. Finally learnt how to do some decent programming, although admittedly not as well as I would have hoped. Still, I'm a happy man.

Exams AAR:

GEK1505 a.k.a Living with Mathematics (hell) :Not as bad as I would have hoped. Thankfully I did some questions before plus with a lil of my Sis's help. Shouldnt be a problem.

CS1101: Eh, sigh. I love Java and Java loves me.

MA1505: Well, I'm glad I can do about 5/8 of the questions. Whether correct or not .. haha. Lucky I'm not an engineer. Got engineers like my damn tok-gong TPL, when the toilet flushes, this shit flies up. Tsk tsk.

CS1105: Damn. Thought this was was Free Frag. In the end ... aiya. Not so bad. At least project had a decent score.

CS1231. Well. Hopefully I can type something nice here. Test will be on Monday. Which reminds me, I better get on to study le.

School starting ... yay!

2007-07-12T01:17:00.000+08:00

Pretty excited that school's starting soon, after a 2 year plus hiatus. School of Infantry and School of Armour doesnt count.

What has just passed ...

Nat Comp 2007:

Here's my feedback: Maybe should copy paste and email it later or something.

But to summarize, whatever could have gone wrong didnt. IMHO, I think everything went pretty smoothly, despite the fact that everyone was unclear of their R&R until that very day. That's the beauty of putting a bunch of officers to work.

Strange that the same speech can last for so many times, albeit some alterations here and there.
Lesson learnt: Just reuse last years plan. And maybe the speech too.

Bacon:

My sister's friend got her a hamster. My OTHER sister named it Bacon. We're still figuring whether we should deep fry, broil, grill, boil, steam it. Mum even suggested that we buy "Meatball", a not-yet-begotten hamster. Stunnable.

(Hey hey, "lost in your eyes" is playing again!)

Oo oo ooo .. what happened AFTER NatComp:

Thank god for informants. I feel totally betrayed now. Damn it. Grrrr.

Was quite reluctant going for the NatComp, but again, turned out to be fun with all the other usual jokers. I will never look at a Harry Porter broomstick the same way ever again. :D. I think my hardcore one is uber. Saw Wei Keat whilst the rest of us were camping at Starbucks (or some spin-off). Being the cheapos that we were, we didnt bother to buy anything. (Not like there were alot of pple that day).

C++:

Reading up on this now. Haha, my sis' was asking me what was it about, cos she was picking her modules too. Both of us are too damn lazy to go for the orientation thingie. But I'm gonna go for the 31st thingie. Some Scheme and JAVA workshop. But dammit, scheme is like ancient man, no one uses it already wat ... :S.

C:

Finally gotten the hang of pointers, conceptually. PL's explanation is totally apalling. To say the very least.

8 Sept: (This hasnt passed yet. Just to remind myself.)

Ben is to keep this date free of pests, except for all the pretty babes waiting for me. :D :D :D. I feel so old. Haha. Any kid which calls me UNCLE ...

6th Combined JNCO 2007:

Why 6? Cos I saw the letterhead as "4th" in 2005. Progressed on the stuff done so far...

PART A: Appointment list
PART D: Course Structure
PART E: Roles and responsibilities
PART F: SOP
PART G: Rules and Regulations

FORMS

FORM B: Book in/Book Out
FORM L: Logistic Requisition form
FORM P: PARADE STATE
FORM T: TRAINEE APPRAISAL
FORM V: VISTOR LOG

Must make JNCO after 8 Dec, cos I found out I had exams ... woah. Now my turn to laugh at myself. Still waiting for the damned syllabus to pop out. A couple of day's more wait shouldnt be a problem. Just want to get almost everything done before school starts.

I should get back into the damn gym soon.

Transformers:

Holy shit. This was a brilliant brilliant show. I miss SoundWave though. I tell you, if Transformers were to have Fortress Maximus ... The most uber biggest robot (don't count Unicron) ... transform from Robot to .. err.. Fortress!!!]

Signing out ... check out FortMax vid..

bitchin again.

2007-06-24T01:04:00.000+08:00

Just realised that my posts come few and far in between. Time certainly flies, considering the fact that I only met the EoC (ex officers club) recently. I've lots to look forward to ...

Yesterday:

We broke up even before we got married. Haha ... but at least the were frank at the very beginning, and I'm very grateful for that. Otherwise it certainly would have led to a disaster, to say the least. Now ... where to hold the damn camp ...

Johnny looks quite down. I don't think he understands. Haha ... disappointment clouds judgmen

Bought "Algorithmics: The spirit to computing" ... sounds abit 'holy' ... but checked on Amazon.com, and my judgment wasn't (all that) flawed. For $18, it was a steal. :D. Went home a sleepy but happy man.

I have to thank a couple of assholes who make leaving all the more easier for me. Haha ...

To those who pass SENCO, congrats. To those who failed: Hahahahahaha. I think you deserved it. I think i was disillusioned when i *thought* that they would at least appreciate the time and effort spent to organise all the course. Fuck you very much, and have a good life too. :D. Assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups. Indeed.

2 days back:

Mr. M.B.A. sent me an email, "thanking me in advance for being the OIC for PHS's NDP." Hahaha. Balls.To.You.

Today:

Still don't feel like sleeping. Must reset the body clock soon man. Default sleep time = 0300 hrs. A thought just hit me. I think SJ has made volunteering seem like a bad thing, to say this least. Why the animosity man.

This SJ hospice (no relation to SJ) was caught for some corruption thingie ... Power corrupts. Absolute power ... We're inherently corrupted ?

Later on today:

Going to have the CCB thingie ... but I'm not looking forward to it. Whats there to look forward to?

Ling's Endorsement.

2007-06-18T00:45:00.000+08:00

Went out with the ex-officer bunch (I'm so joining the club soon): Ying, Xiang, Ling and special guest start Da Ting! Glad to see the bunch together talking cock and about other people's asses. Haha ... Da Ting and us were like reminiscing the good ole' days when everything was less bureaucratic, more nonsensical, and when everyone still loved SJ, no matter how many assholes they were.

Took a couple of photos, but this was my favorite. Wei Xiang and me doing a smile ala brokeback style. (It rhymes!) Ling looking extremely sinister, Ying trying to eat the flash up with her eyes ... and Da ting eyeing on the delicious looking newly-cut hair of poor Ying. Yummy.

We were mostly chatting up on the sad state of affairs things have gotten for SJ recently. I think it just makes the prospect of leaving *much* easier.

"We'll always think for the kids first. But will the kids will never think of us?" That drew an astonished look from Rudolf ... seemed like the revelation of the year for her. Shoving the thought for so long only made what I said at the moment all the more satisfying. But at the end of the day, it cannot and never will be a win win situation.

Truth be told, I do feel slightly freer (and happier too!), knowing that I'd probably give some people a hard time very soon.

Inertia.

2007-06-09T00:04:00.000+08:00

Back after a month's hiatus. Quite alot has occurred so far.

(1) OTC Camp

Didn't really look forward to the camp initially. Thought that it would be filled with all the crap which sparks when you put to many officers together. Didn't expect it to be that fun. First day was ok, but felt abit lost though. Not to mention the early morning hor-lan. But warmed up a little after yean lih and me played soldier. Actually, that was the entire highlight of the camp. Was [read:trying] to recruit some terrorists. But not enough to form even one section. Haiz.

Hike was fun too. Got too see the shag out faces of the trainee. Walked along BKE. That was a shitting-in-the-pants scary. Lotsa activation that day. Haha. Eileen was the crazy #@$@%, Jacklynn was the 10 min crazy $@#$^.

Camp fire was a blessing in disguise, and an ode to Mr. Murphy. Good thing about having officers around is that things can be turned around chop chop. No need pple to tell automatic. Good thing the guys also "on", and we played with the only man's make up. Missed camo paint.

In retrospect, this was one of the more enjoyable camps I've been too as an instructor. Perfect balance of seriousness and clowning around. Doesnt have the stiffleness and bullshit from Zone 8 camps.

The after camp outing-for-survivors was fun. Haha. Watched POC3. Never set so upright in a damn cinema before. Thats why I always prefer the genuine imitation products more. Don't tell.

(2) PL birthday

Darling, ain't we all getting old. Been invited to so many b'day parties ... haha. But had to turn down quite a few.[Eileen:Really SICK! Sorry nurse. Sam: Happy b'day. ORD LO!] Personally, I don't like to attend b'day parties. But of course I won't miss PL's bday for the world. Got quite a shock when I saw her there ... Unexpected guest. But why shouldnt she be there eh? So long, and yet still feel likes we broke yesterday.

On the upside, it was great to see everyone up and well and good to go. Sadly Mabeline not there, less one kaki. So had Alvin and Kenny (bless them, seriously) to keep me company. PL looked great that day ... haha. Put any guys who don't know each other well, but talk about army ... and anything goes. :D.

Now I just need to think of something to buy for my buddy ...

(3) SJ

M.B.A. (Mr. Bastardrous asshole) has been telling people that "I was leaving" after July, till the point even Ms. JC and Ms EL knows ... Good choice that Ms JC is leaving that place for good. Even being a ex-student there, but working there, albeit brief, didn't rekindle any feelings for the school. Only more bureaucratic bullshit.

Actually what M.B.A. had done, saved me a little work. No need to go explaining my alleged absence then. Had to as Yuhan whether PCSS can supply officers or not. Haha. Make my day. (Hi Claudia!*waves*)

Been doing quite abit of thinking lately. And I think this has been at the back of my mind for the longest time. - Whether to carry on or not. Now lets try to be objective and analyze the pros and cons.

Pros

(1) The corps *might* be better.

Cons

(1) Less time for my studies.
(2) Waste traveling $ and time => Less study time
(3) Higher blood pressure having to deal with (the) asshole(s).
(4) Efforts wasted planning, worrying, where in the end, ungrateful people bail out at the last moment.
(5) Silver for fuck? MBA will be the one taking it on stage.
(6) Work without pay. That isnt the issue. Without Pay's work work more than with pay.
(7) Coming out my own money. And sometimes not getting it back. (haha. O$P$!!!)
(8) Fiona's gone. Eve too. WX's loving his wife aka M16. Huiying has short hair. (irrelevant,but I had to say it) Chuiyee soon. (not the hair)
(9) No appreciation.
(10) Getting bland. Very. Very. Soon.

Oh well, let everything run its course.

Top 10 Most beautiful people of all time ~

2007-05-09T01:08:00.000+08:00

10: Ericia Lee. Hoi! Don't laugh.

09: Arwen aka Steve Tyler's beautiful daughter.

08: Jennifer Love Hewitt. I could just spend the entire day ...

07: Fiona. Xie. Nuff said.

06: Steph Song. Sigh ~~

05: Linda Liao. Porcelain beauty.

04: Lana! Although I never ever watched one episode of Smallville.

03: Priscilla Chan & Christy Chung. Ok ok, shouldnt put two. But its difficult to make a decision. Couldnt find a decent Priscilla Chan photo ... so here's Christy. :D.

02: BoA BoA BoA. I seriously don't care whether its Photoshopped or Plastic Surgeon-ed.

Number 1: Moi Ma Ma!!! Happy Ma's Day!!! Hmm ... whats the exact date huh? :X.

Moi mama would have made Godzilla in Puss-Zilla man. Make the ugly looking lizard shit in its paints. Hmm, if it wore pants, that is. Hahaha.

P.s.: The picture is just for illustrative/methoricative purposes. (i.e.: Hope she doesnt see this) Haha ...

Muakz!

Of Donkeys and Assholes.

2007-05-07T23:41:00.000+08:00

Went to the Singapore Arts Museum with dear ol' Pau Ling ... ~finally~. After we hor-lan like a couple months back (of no fault of mine, I swear).

I found my favourite art piece of ALL TIME! haha ... (not like I'm an art buff or what).

This wonderful work of art is done by Baet Yeok Kwan, (un)titled "Door".

Well the story goes something like this: PL and me came by this piece and didnt took much notice to it. Until I did the "art buff" ke-kan-nan lu-rus head tilt. (P.s. You need to tilt to the left to fully appreciate the grandeur stunning potrayal of the human creativity)

Look closely ... and you see ...

RAMBO III !!!

Anyway, recently had a "deja-vu" type of feeling... I remembered I use to have a colouring book with a "Toxic-____" as the main character, and a mop .. and after some digging around ... viola!

Now, has anyone EVER EVER watched this cartoon before?

I think I watched it in K1 or K2 or something like that ... 1991 - 1992 ... haha. Loved the cartoon to bits during that time ... haha. In retrospect [read:retro], the cartoon looks abit disgusting. Hmm, Ninja turtles were that shade of green too. Hmm.

Damn, my blood boils a little whenever I see that asshole's email. Eek! I think its like a gag reflex or something. I pity the people sitting around him, and breathing the same air as him.

Seriously, PLEASE DON'T BREED.

Saw the news clipping of the SJAB girl who had like 20 CPBS badges and she was complaining that she had to pay for so much. Bloody ______.
If you don't want to make hollow boots: Bang LOUDER.

If you don't want to badges: Don't Buy.

At least spare a damn thought for the poor person who had to organised, go down sign the certs, print the certs, and purchase the badges for you. Ingrate.

Falling in love ...

2007-05-04T02:20:00.001+08:00

Was lurking in my favourite haunt (i.e. The library) yesterday, trying to search for a TCP/IP book ... and mentally calculating how many books I borrowed. Had only 2 slots left, and I was cursing and swearing. One day I'm so going to get the premium membership, when I'm feeling rich/reckless/generous/desperate enough. So far it hasnt culminated yet.

Anyway, spotted this book at the shelf in the "New Titles".

I was delibrating whether to borrow the Solaris 10 CD (which I already burnt btw) + the TCP/IP book or that book. Thank the higher authorities that I borrowed this book.

This by far, was the best damn book that I've ever set my sights upon. Devoured the book in 2 days, but seriously, I was sad it ended. This book is a literary treasure. Period.

It has I think some of the best insults known to mankind. 1E should read this. Simians. Haha.

I love love love this book. Oh man oh man.

Rambo Rambo

2007-04-28T21:21:00.000+08:00

Oh man, I absolutely adore Rambo, in a non-gay sort of way. [Disclaimer]. TOTALLY BAD ASS! Haha .. check out this kewl scene ...

Probably meeting Ling, Ying, WX tml at Fish and Co. Maybe i'll order chicken. -_-!!!.

Seriously, I think I watched First blood like 10 + times already .. and havent got tired of it. Its always amazing to know that if you're Rambo:

(1) You can hold a GPMG with just one hand.
(2) M-16s and AK-47s have probably 100 rounds of ammo.
(3) Your M-16 and AK-47s spit out heat seeking bullets. i.e. you dun need to aim.
(4) You do not need an army when you can kill 50 000+ pple.
(5) Put some gun powder, explode it ... and VIOLA! Your wound has been sterilised. Should teach THAT to the home nursing girls.
(6) The enemy will give you time to assemble your bow, to shoot your highly explosive arrow.
(7) Shooting anti tank weapons without bothering about back blast.
(8) US army is quite useless. Send in the italian instead.
(9) Any girl who gets involves eventually dies.
(10) You never die. (Doh)

I love love love love Rambo.

Glad there's peeps to share our happiness getting our little commissioner badges ... hahaha. Don't mean to sound overrated. But high time we deserved something better ya?

The horse looks almost as bad ass as Rambo. Almost.
(I think Rambo might be holding the leash a wee bit too tight. Hmmm)

DCB HooOoOooO!

2007-04-27T02:00:00.000+08:00

When down with Chui yee to find Mr. Chua ... dots. Who *finally* came at 11 something. At least he came, otherwise it would be a wasted trip. After that makan with CY, den went back HQ to wait for him, while CY needed to earn some money back at J8.

So excited when he finally signed the 7 certs ... before waiting for him to signed the rest of the certs (NOT MIND! SO NVM !!! OPPS) I quickly chiong out to the SJ supply store aunty, lest she "chu pattern" and stun me with a 2 hr lunch break.

The bought 7 Commissioner badges!!! Haha .. after all the hype and talk and expectations and *poof* ... Still alot of the hardwork came from Sze Ling, Wei Xiang , TLT, and Chui Yee (NO CY = NO BADGE = Nice clean uniform!).. (See never forget you). Oh and johnny's printer. Hee. Haha ... but hey, we finally did it ya. Small achievement, but still happy with it.

If we manage to give xiao pen you something we never had, I think thats always a good thing. But you can never have too much push ups and runs. hahahha.

Told Shu Hui abt it, and she was visibly happy ... haha. Made me slightly happier too.

Will get johnny to announce and present the badge to whole school ... must do some advertising ... if not KNNBCCB, no one knows we exist.

Someone must give FB a book on leadership. Jackass. Or maybe "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. You're probably from the god damned Crab Nebula." *TIAN !!!*

This sunday no OTC. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Hope no one sees this. Woahaha.

Tsk tsk, naughty naughty.

2007-04-24T19:31:00.000+08:00

I stand by what I said - NCOs are definitely definitely more important than officers...

FB called Aunty in like the wee hours of the morning. Poor thing. Tsk tsk... want to asked what I debrief come call my HP/Email ... don't harass my xiao pen you. No need to tell the world who's boss too. WE know. Ain't you.

Its times like these whereby I don't regret going down to train the kids. Hope they pass the JNCO theory test. :D.

Today I was like clicking on ARES ... then I was thinking .. ay .. "Where's my Judson Spence song????" ... Been trying to find/download it for like 2 months already ... Recently kept hearing in on Class 95 ... but still couldnt catch hold of this song. I did d/l this song before ... but formatted my comp and it was gone with the wind.

Then then ... IT DOWNLOADED ALREADY!!! OMG OMG OMG! Haha ... elated.

1E's nicks are hilariously ~~childish~~ Saw Randeep's name on it! Hahahah. Mr. Singh is gonna be thrilled.

Ms Quek says my blogs make her laugh. Thats a distorted, warped, and not the mention, a creepy sense of humour. {BEWARE}.

I think the OTC peeps are desperately in need of a decent romance story. Hmm. I think its SJ in general.

Person of the Day (POTD): AUNTY W.!!!

JUBUR* of the CENTURY: Foxtrot Bravo!

*Means good boy. Pronounced as Joo-Bo!

Nothing more the KaoBei about already.

*Waves to 2 Blessing. Haha, Ms Kee walked. :S.

PD: Jogathon

2007-04-20T19:38:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday in advance, Goh "The Short/Idiot/Brainless" Yeyen!!!

This is especially for Lam "Stoney" Yihui.

Did public duty in school today, cos we had some jogathon. FB wanted to fethc the first aid supplies first, but we moved off at like 0645hrs. KBed our Nu-nu ... but as usual, she has armoured protection against that asshole.

So off we went, and I think if we go at this rate, KS should be PD pro in no time. :D. But again, KS got gan-ed by that FB, left right up down centre. Had Nichola to back her up ... thats unity man. :D. After that went around telling pple that he was "in-charge", and yours truly was only "there to help". When something went wrong, suddenly and automagically KS became in charge.... Hahaha. And he did it more than once ...

Tsk tsk, insecure eh? Must go telling pple he is incharge ... haha. Basically everybody who did PD that day was pissed with FB.

FB runs funny.

"Back to base" Haha .. never go NS act army. Double eek.

At the end of the day, no one wanted/bother to listen/see him. (EEEEK!) After prayers, we chionged back to school. 2 pesky 1C kids kept asking for my number. Wassap with that man?

Have the cheek to tell TST that he is "struggling alone in the corps". Hahahha. So poor thing.. awwwwwwwww. Asshole.

Yours truly out.

Badges Galore ... and a C.B.

2007-04-19T01:05:00.000+08:00

Long time no post.

Went for Uni Checkup. Finally over. Dun realli like checkups.Unless there's pretty receptionist/nurse. :D.

Went back today ... met Sherman and Peng Ting,Aidan along the way. :D. Saw Wei Jie and Cheuk Fan ... -_-!!!. Haha. First thing he tells me whether I know Jolene or not. Same tuition group. -_________-!!!

Went back for SJAB, primarily to give out badges too :D. Special thanks to Chui Yee (for convincing all the old men to sign ... ha) and Johnson "The Moo" Kow, for wasting precious time and printer ink. (At least you got ONE badge)

Most of the 2's and 3's had added another row. Ho eh! Too bad when I was cadet no such thing ... I was still wondering then how come SJ no badge one ah ... -_-!!!.

Here's something interesting:

Was dressed in full uni, and Hui Shan had all the stuff lined up nicely already. And the f****** b****** comes to me, and says,

F.B: "Ben, I'm not ready to present the badges" .

My first thought was "HELLO?!?! Who took the damn train down, waited 2 hours for the AUNTY (knnbccb) and spent $96 of my mama's money to pay?"

Moi : "No. Badge I give." (walks away)

Damn, the look on that face was P.R.I.C.E.L.E.S.S. I cant even envisage him actually PARTICIPATING in the gaining of badges for the cadets. And he has the damn nerve to "present to the cadets". HELLO REALITY CHECK! No one wants you to give them ANYTHING! A******.

I think he personifies C.B-ness. Ultimate epitome of a C.B.

Still can call my place (actually my phone diverted) and tell my dad I "do things behind his back". Naturally my dad couldnt give a shit.

Mama and Papa have been bugging me. "Why the hell you keep going back to that school to help?"

"Xiao Peng You."

For Those About to Rock ...

2007-04-12T23:16:00.000+08:00

AC/DC in action. Oh man oh man oh man

Popped in my ACDC CD again ... oh man oh man. I think thats the single only thing my dearest sister did for me. [Hi idiot!! *waves*]

Oh man oh man ... this is so good. Click TNT where the tagboard was.

Completed citizenship notes after like a 2 month delay. (shit, Chui Yee did NOT see this)

ACDC Blogskin ?!

2007-04-11T23:22:00.000+08:00

Damn, tried to search for an AC/DC blogskin but to no avail. There's only those wussy-looking flowery blogskins ... sobs.

Hey! Looks like my favourite *cough cough* ~~pirated~~ cd shop IS NOT CLOSED!!! HOOOOooOooooOo!

Went to school with a damn headache, luckily there wanst PT. But the Sec 3s screwed the promo thingie big time, but I think they learnt from it. Hopefully.

So funny. Went back and everyone was like "Hi Mr. Tan!" "Eh, Mr. Tan lai liao ... Mr. TAN!!! *waves*) Haha ... mostly from da Sec 2 kids ... NA kids more adorable. Maybe.

Today our dearest ~~cockster~~ aka "Foxtrot Bravo" can still tell people "there will be double promotion" for those with "good attendance". Come on man, bluff also use your coconut brains. Like what me and her have concluded (See? We're on a strictly CONFIDENTIAL note here ... ) He and us have this INTER-GALACTIC gap b/w us... so huge, it probably transcends solar systems.

Taught Sec 1s footdrill, more fun than I thought it would be. Lemme count ...I think taught at least 5 batches of Sec 1s le ... omg. But today was quite fun, with the occasional "Sir I dizzy...". Don't blame them ... first timers.

Seemed ages since I've been to school ... Think because of good friday. Inertia man.

At least the Sec 1s quite enthu about badges and stuff.... in the end the seniors must "suffer" abit... the good courses will let the Sec 1s have it first.

Die ... still owe Chui yee [HIIII!!] the Citizenship notes ... woahahhaa. JIA LAT. Working on it later.

Over n out.

Bro's Outing

2007-04-03T01:11:00.000+08:00

Haha, for the first time in like (9 years?), my good bro HB brought me out to Swensens. Haha. He and me were doing our usual talk-cock-sing-song when I spotted this (man, i wished i had this on picture
Asked moi gd bro to take a look, and immediately he grinned. Haha ... we're still er... normal. Haha. Even with his gf beside him. Too bad she didnt get it. But on a more serious note... WTH were they thinking man? Haha.

Reminiscing about the good ole' days and talking about our teachers and the pranks we (mostly he) did. Including the foolscap paper glue prank he did on Ms Kang.

Things Teachers Wish They Could Tell Their Students...

(www.keepersoflists.org/index.php?ldate=2006-08-06;dir=next)

I wish they didn't make you come to school either.
You should be the posterchild for birth control.
I wish you were as smart as you think you are.
If you were my child, I'd beat you.
I predict you'll be in jail in the next five years.
I see a broom and dustpan in your future.
Life only gets worse. Die now.
You work hard to get a college degree and end up teaching ungrateful idiots
I may be boring but at least I'm not as stupid as you.
A******.
A salute to all the other teachers who have ever taught me. And the rest who are struggling and contemplating on quitting.

I think these ________ don't know that teachers are ultimately human. Haha .. turns out to be a blessing in disguise. I feel really sad for all the others who silently bear grudges during the span of their jobs.

Haha ... missed the times in the Staff room though. Hearing the rants and complains of all the other teachers.

Tips for First Time Relief Teachers

2007-04-03T01:03:00.000+08:00

Haha .. this is so kewl.

Tips for First Time Relief Teachers

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Inhale. Exhale.

Relax..................

Whoever said being a relief teacher was an easy job with easy pay? Smack the bugger in the face right now... it's NOT that easy...

Ok, it's definitely better than being a regular teacher, but it still isn't that easy all the time.

Here then, are some tips [and shocks] for aspiring relief teachers. Add this onto all those simple info like "show up at school at 730am" and "Just get them to do some worksheets" that the school will tell you.

1. UNDERSTAND THE TYPE OF CLASS YOU'RE IN

Being relief, you will have no choice in what kind of class you will be teaching. If you're lucky, you will have a relatively well-behaved class, and this is what will happen the minute you walk in:

"Class, stand!" Everyone stands up, and greets "Good morning, teacher." and sits down again, looking at you with curious eyes, wondering what happened to their regular teacher.

If you're unlucky enough, and the class you're relieving happens to be one of the 'bottom' ones:

"RAHAHAHAHAEHEHEHEHCHERCOMELIAO!!!!HAHAHAHA" and other classroom gibberish. One or two boys will be running around the classroom, despite your fervent attempts to catch them and bring them to their seats, another group in the corner will be blatantly ignoring you, and playing their own games, and when you try to speak, a chorus of childish voices will totally drown you, and leave you to die.

And all this while their teacher is either a) at home trying to recover from the high blood pressure and heart failure his kids have induced in him or b) happily out shopping because her relative's a doctor and she got a free MC, while you desperately try to control her class.

2. ALWAYS BE FIRM.

This means never smile, never joke, never play games, never let them do their own thing, never talk to them, never reply their inane questions, never back down on anything you say, never show weakness, never show hesitation.

In other words, switch off the humanity and act like your old, grumpy Chinese teacher with the bad dress sense and the perpetual PMS.

This is vitally IMPORTANT if you ever want the class to do what you want. Because the moment you let slip your guard, and they know that you are human and therefore FALLIBLE, you are so doomed. They will run circles around you like dogs in heat.

Some people may say, "Oh, but that's so fierce! What if I scare the little darlings?" and I say, "[insert name of animal faeces]" remember that you are outnumbered 40 to 1 in a classroom, and that if they were to suddenly realise that they could all scream, shout or run out of the class and you wouldn't be able to stop them all, you are so screwed.

If you were outnumbered 40 to 1 by a gang of ferocious hounds, would you go, "Oh lookit the cute little doggies!" and try to pet them? Same concept.

3. NEVER TOLERATE ANY BEHAVIOUR YOU DID NOT ENDORSE

No one goes to the toilet without your permission. No one goes to the bookshelf without your permission. No one drinks water without your permission. No one talks without your permission. No one even lies on the table to sleep without your permission.

This is now part of classroom discipline. Establish yourself as Most Revered And To Be Obeyed Leader of the Pack. This is once again important, in order to get the class to listen to you. If they feel that you can't lead, they will never listen to you.

And if you survived your relief teaching, and you're out of class, you may do the last thing, which is:

4. RECLAIM YOUR HUMANITY

Shop. Eat. Drink. Chat. SMS. Become human again, and shed off the Dictator For Life persona you were carrying in the classroom. For one, it will endear you to your peers a whole lot more.

Lil Sidetrackin'. Blogging Rampage. FlagDay OWNING!

2007-04-01T23:15:00.000+08:00

Oh man, still feeling the ~high~ of achievement.

There was OTC today. Nuff' said. Haha.

Today recieved a sms, "Why you call us insolent imbeciles?" Well let me think ... I seriously, truly, madly, deeply DO NOT (I mean: I REALLY REALLY) want to name names ... but hey, the more stung you feel, the more you are probably guilty. :D. Of course, there are still some nicer pple which I wholeheartedly appreciate.

Besides, blogging is MY [<---] channel of therapy, rather than slapping you guys upside down. [Which I most definitely would do if i were your parents, but I'm not. But just to qualify .. THATS JUST MY OPINION.]

But hey, it just boils down to one thing: OPINIONS. If you little s****s (specially *** for the particularly sensitive ) can write whatever the heck you want on your parents, classmates, teachers, kindergarten friends, primary school friends, and what not, hmmm ... I believe I can do the same ya? Neh neh neh neh neh.

Just thought of Wen Mei ... long time never see her le. HI MEI MEI!!!!

Always good to see 2B guys and gals in and about PHS. Brightens my day.

I sincerely hope SINGAPOREAN students know how lucky they are. Judging from their megalomaniac characters ... "I'll pray for you all". If that helps. At all. 1C, you are not angels. And luck. sincerely, for the rest of the year. Hope you all do well too. That is, if you all can sit down and shut up/not sleep etc. :D.

Otherwise one fine day, foreigners will quietly take over ... Qualify again: I have nothing against them. But I think the whole lot are just too complacent to give a damn.

So kids, if you are feeling angry etc reading the bottom post (which were in FEB!), DON'T READ LARH! #$@! !!!

School is not even willing to spend a small amount of money for a CONDEMNED computer. Donate to jogathon for what? Glad I handed in a blank card. Helping do flag day is SO MUCH MORE MEANINGFUL. THIS DIRECTLY HELPS PHSSJAB! Don't even know where all the other money goes to.

PHSSJAB - 3K HoooOooOOooO!

Flag Day 2007

2007-04-01T21:40:00.001+08:00

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Damn, I couldnt help it. Shouts to all the PHSSJAB to help make this possible! Last year we got $600 ..... This year ... THIS YEAR ... T-H-I-S-Y-E-A-R !!! We got .... drum roll ....

-------------->>>>> $3005.57!!!!!

-------------->>>>> $3005.57!!!!!

-------------->>>>> $3005.57!!!!!

OMG ... I'm so thrilled. Again, thanks to each and every single one of you who made the effort !!! Sheryl. that makes to people bursting with happiness. YeAH! *poof* (Burst.)

March 29 ... just a couple more days ...(Waves to all the "pri-sch" kids")

2007-03-29T18:03:00.000+08:00

Cant wait for 747 to happen ... TRANSFORMERS!!! Woo Hoo! :D.

Went back to PHS during Sports Day and parades days and manage to catch up with the 2B guys and gals. :D. Saw Xu Ting and a couple of 1E guys.

To "insolent imbecile" aka "bloody kid" aka "anonymous"... please at least change ur IP since you're the same person ... lemme teach u abit of computing skills ya ... for noobs.

ur ip: 218.212.190.5x --- do a DNS reversal ---> cm53.sigma190.maxonline.com.sg.

Anyway, will be taking down the tagboard, since a CERTAIN GROUP OF *cough cough* ~~noobs~~ don't know how to use a tagboard. Hope I didnt break any hearts. Maybe they'll grow up soon.

Flag day on Saturday! Come and support PHSSJAB! HoooOooOooOOoOO!

Anyway, "retarded teacher" is wrong usage of the Queen's English. To retard means to stop. Idiot.

Dear 2b, please please please study hard. Tell Mandy too.

Bye 2B

2007-03-20T19:38:00.000+08:00

Dearest 2B,

Initially I thought you were every (relief) teacher's nightmare. But I didnt know teaching a normal acad class could be this wild, crazy, fun and rewarding. Not that I didnt have my share of headaches and heartaches from you all.

Thanks for all the support you've given so far. Pls give the same for the rest of the teachers too. All of them want to teach. So pls give them a chance.

You're the only class so far I always look forward to teach. I think its a perverse sort of pleasure derived from predicting what kind of crap you all can throw at me. Ha.

Sorry that I had to leave so abruptly. It wasnt my choice. Have always prepared for that fateful day in JUNE when i had to leave u all. But I didnt expect MARCH to be the last. But, things happen. No Choice.

To All the Crazy Jokers (in no particular order of notoreity, crazyness, lameness etc):

Aidan "The Policeman" Seet, Sherman "Chairman" Chong, Bai Tong, Desmond, Simon, Zhang Jin, Wilbur, Kelvin, Wei Jie (Lim) .. Wei "The Lame" Chieh , Wei Jie (The Bai Tong clone look alike), Ivan, Shaun, Jing"Where's my BALL!" Xian, Jacky Chan, Cheuk "Beat them up!" Fan, Jeremy, Ling "The Lamer" Chao, Zhe "The tall one" Quan, ZHEN "theLAU" Yan, Benedict "N70"..

To all the belles of 2B:

Adeline+Medeline, Heidi "Half" Ho, Madeline and Sheryln and Peijie, Van "Chong" Tan, Dawn, Jasmine, Estella "Barney"/"Purple" Bu, Claudia "Lamer" Chua, Has[m]irah, Ha[n]isah Ms Balaan, Jiang Ling, Xiu "how come your little sis is taller than you" Fen, Mandy "Always 'hiao' :D" Sim, Ci "The garang cilli padi" Yin, Shelly, Chelsea "GOal!!".

I'll seriously missed all of you. You've made this ex-relief teacher a very very happy man. But still abit "she bu de" .. But no choice. Things change. You all won't be forgotten. Be missing you.

Ben "I slap you upside down" Tan.

FAC hoo ~

2007-03-17T21:31:00.000+08:00

Woah~ Feeling uber pissed. I think the MOE should have a "police" to arrest lousy, shitty, incompetent teachers. I think being a SJ TIC in PHS is a very "eng" job. They don't need to fill in brigade forms, badge applications, (NOW EVEN CONSENT FORMS!), plan for camps. programmes etc. Hate pple questioning my commitment. Try running the corps with ME gone.

Tomorrow is one of the proudest moments in my SJ history. Finally in 8 years, PHS corps is finally sending its FAC team -Yeyen, Huichen Many pple have told us we couldnt ... but finally we did! :D. Rock on girls, and give them hell.

Lets see whether THAT PERSON bothers to turn up or not . Lay your bets.

Finally (finding the time) blogging

2007-02-13T00:40:00.000+08:00

Hey hey, look who's back? Damn it, recently shitloads of crap have been happening to me, but I'm still taking it in my stride ...

(1) Ms. Loh backing out.

Now, I'm not ashamed to say this, but I really suck at judging people's character. This champion can "crap" (her words, not mine) out a mighty fine doctor's letter, of course with external instigation, saying that "she experiences anxiety and has difficulties coping with her CCA". Errr ... tell that to your boss next time, little girl.

Had no choice but to dissolve the two teams to form back the original sec 3 team. Damn it. Waste my time training.

(2) CPBS Screw Up

OMG. I think I might have screwed up big time. The Crime Prevention thingie had been a thorn in the flesh for a long time. Cant figure out how I could missed it out ... Will discuss this with Johnson tml. Huge sorry to CY.

(3) FAC ...

Damn, still need to call people up to see whether they're free to come down or not.

(4) OTC

Hope I'm able to learn something besides carrying #$% and wayanging.

(5) 2B

Just finished marking their Class test 2. Marked it with a heavy heart. When would these kids finally wake up from their dreamland ? I can see a bunch of them retaining soon. But the funny thing is, I think they make up to about half the class. Now, if this trend happens across the school, I think we're in for some really deep shit. Some I don't seeing retaining, but some would really break my heart to see them retain. Medicine best served bitter.

==================================================================
This space was INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK. For all the touchy parents. And father's mother's son's and daughter's.
==================================================================

(6) Paper

Now this seems like a strange topic to bitch about, primarily because it hinges .. damn i don't even know how to describe it. Anyway, here's the break down.

1 Term = 3 months = 2 Reams of paper = 1000 pages.
1 month average = 333 pages.
1 class = 333/4
= 80 (estimated)
1 person = 80/40 = 2 pieces of paper

Therefore, 1 person per month is entitled to 2 pieces of paper.
=> Gay huh?

It has even gone to the point whereby the kids need to pay for their paper. And the sch just keeps demanding for more and more and more and more and more money.

I wonder where all the money went ....

When love kills love ...

2006-12-27T00:04:00.000+08:00

BBQ at Joshua's place.

Its been at least 8 years since we've known each other already. Thanks to Thai Ee for taking the effort to bring all of us together. Grateful, grateful, very grateful to you bro. He even got Ms. Chang/Mrs Ong down with her kid and hubby. Just like old times. Haha, to think she still remembered me and Hock Boon that jackass. It was wonderful to see Ah Gou, Wei Kiat, Zhu, Albert, Thai Ee and Joshua again. At least none of us change much .. wohaha.

The girls seems to get prettier though ... I think the guys not working hard enough. Whahaha. (We're not complaining). Lau Shen came too! Omg ... love him deep deep. He da man himself. He da main man :P

Special mention to my bestest buddy Ms. Tay Pau Ling. U deserve a medal darling. Haha. Thank god for solid MRT doors. Sighs. If I were in her shoes, I also dunoe wat to do. Damn.

JNCO 2006

I've held off commenting on this for the longest time. I would like to think it as a success, but deep down alot of things could have been done better. But I think I did my best already, given the resources and talent available. Always on the lookout for better pple on the team.

Thailand

Thailand was a bomb man ... enjoyed it totally. Too bad ma was sick ... haha. Otherwise we would have shopped until siao. One of the most enjoyable holidays where I actually enjoyed shopping. Deadly does of cheap stuff + cash to spend on makes shopping wonderful for Ben. Haha. No such luck in Singapore.

Chiying: Have a wonderful flight darlin'

Completed Corps Logo .. I Hope ...

2006-11-07T05:58:00.000+08:00

This was the first prototype ... abit england-ish. So I quickly decided against it ... had a hard time finding the damn shape of the shield ...

The Cross was easy to find. The stretcher wasnt. Thank god for Adobe Photoshop. :D Anyway, many people thought it looked like rifles ... But that was where I copied the idea from ... hahaha.

This one I thought was much better, but abit tooooo reddish. The yellow/biege was a little weird. Colours courtesy of my dearestest Sister (who's having her A's now ... -haha-) The olive wreaths were difficult to find, and in the end it looked like it was being painted on. But overall, I really liked this piece.

Ms Doreen Tang thought that the stretchers crossed out the 8 point cross, so I modded it again ... (Actually, I was figuring how to do it in Photoshop, den my dearestest sis did it in 4 steps - MS PAINT) Sigh. Finally managed to find the wreath... its called a "laurel wreath" btw. Added a relatively small "PHS"... cos at first Mr. Simon wanted big P H S within the 3 "compartments" (See the red divisions?) But doing that I would have to shift the "VIII" somewhere else ... I didnt want to do that ... A previous version had a BOX ard the PHS too .. haha. In retrospect, it would have really looked out of place. [Ok Fiona, I agree with you] [Hong Ming, you and me have no taste ...]

After some playing around ... i made a compromise, and see? The result turned out pretty good right? Haha. Making the P and S with the same width as the H would be a little weird. But I love how i turned out in the end ... Hope Mr ES and Mrs DT would be ok with it .. muHAHAHAHHAAH.

--- Completed on 071106 - ORD LO!!!

HOoooOoooOOooooOOoOoOo
Special Thanks to my group of "Beta-testers", Alicia, Fiona, Ying, Or-Ni, -=MG SeOw=-,my MaMa, Mr ES, Mrs DT ,and of course my dearestest sister who helped alot. (She made me say this.)

This post is dedicated to Ling.

2006-10-11T21:00:00.000+08:00

The weirdest/funniest "Thank you" note i receieved so far:

Dear Ling,

I really wanted to write you a personal letter, but then many pple out there won't know how much gratitude I feel inside. And I'll try not to sound cliched or cheesy. No promises. darling.

First, I was pretty turned off by the fact that people like [read!,grrr.]: Ying, Johnny, Wei Xiang and god knows who else kept this from me for the longest time. But knowing my reaction to you-know-who, I perfectly understanding their pragmatic point of view. And for that, I cannot blame them. And thank heavens that didnt happen. I wouldnt want to hear this type of news from any other person.

We've known each other like what, 6 years already? But it certainly feels much much longer than that. And what a wonderful 6 years it has been. You're one of the few gems who never gave me problems but always ready with solutions. Also one of the few who can read my mind like a book. Which makes working with you all the more enjoyable and easy. I hope along the way, I can meet many more people like that. And every person I meet like that will definitely remind me of you.

Now, you were probably in shock when I didn't react the way you thought I was going too. Like I mentioned previously, you've probably gave alot of thought into this, unlike again, you-know-who. But as Sting used to sing, "If you love somebody, set them free". I didn't think he meant letting your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband to go straying, but rather, he sang for situations like these. You have much bigger things ahead of you, and I knew the signs were coming all along. Especially after the competition thing which you had a couple of months back. But at the end of the day, I knew your mind was made up based on intuition and logic but at the same time, you discharged you duties responsibly and tied up loose ends. For that, I'm also grateful.

Thank you, for being the personification of responsibilty, initiative, good character, humility and perseverance. Without you there certainly wouldnt' have been a "We" at this point of time.

Thank you for your time, effort and sweat spent. I hope it was all worthed it, especially for believing in something everyone else forgot about.

But above all, thank you for maintaining the corps while I was away. (Ying, never forgot you. Xiang, when you pull a stunt like that soon, I will mail u a nice post for you too :P.) Without you people, we'll be in deep a long time ago.

I feel blessed having to work and known such a wonderful person like you. Too bad for the other suckers who didnt get a chance. (Of course there were times you almost drove me nuts ... but thats another story altogether.)

It pains me to say this, but I am glad you made your decision. Never forget the things you've learnt and the things you taught. And I'm always a phone call's away. (Try next year though, I'm trying to change my phone plan for free incoming calls. Lolx)

I wish you joy and happiness. I will miss you dearly. But you're never far from my heart. (aww)

Rock On darling ... HOOOOOOOO!

Love lots,

Ben.

Promo Photos ... (how come i cant smile?!)

2006-10-05T15:58:00.000+08:00

Just dug up some of this photos from "My Received Files" folder. Its a wonder what you can find in there...

Here's a pretty decent photo of me and ying. I used to think she was very tall ... NOT ANYMORE .. . [Ying: U DID NOT see this. Hee.]

This photo taken quite a while ago bah. About 120 day plus to ORD ... wha ... few months back lo. :D

Again, I noticed the damn smirk on my face. Someone must teach me how to smile for the camera.

Here's Ling aka Rudolf with of course the man himself. See? Cant smile. I think i have LLS - LEE LING SYNDROME!!! - how?! But from her blog, she seems to be able to smile for the camera ... hmm. I think its just exclusively my problem.

Damn. Who cares if you can smile or not .. as long as pple want to take picture with me !

Heres a picture of our little extended family ... Think the sec 1s were not here today. Another batch gone le. Time flies.

Needta do some touch up on the blog. I liked the previous skin, but couldnt display it on FireFox. Damn.

Did anyone notice i have a TAGBOARD already? haha. opps.

Settler's Cafe @ Holland (hor-lan)

2006-10-01T17:36:00.000+08:00

Been quite a while we had another mini-gathering like this :P. PL arrange for us to dine at Settlers at Holland V... but at first I tot it was damn ulu. Until we saw the people inside. It was a nice and cozy ambience, and I think no one was above 30. Heh heh.

And I would like to hereby declare that: PL CANNOT TOPO FOR NUTS! Haha ... although my topo-ing skills are nothing to speak off, at least we didnt go along the *wrong* route.

Anyway, heres a pic of us: From the back L to R: Meiling, Han, Mishelle (Shannels sis for those who know her), Jia Ling, Mabeline aka shorty, PauLing aka Topo Queen aka my best buddy (besides boon) and da man himself. :D

Oh ya, the very kewl thing about Settler's is that they have loads of boardgames. Bad news: $$$. But money well spent, in view of the company that day :D. I'll thrash Mabeline at Scrabble (TM) one day. muHAhhahAHa. *cough*

Here's another one with me and Jia Ling posing with an ice cream spoon which *isnt* mine. Heh. I realised i cannot smile for nuts when taking pictures. Haha. Ends up like a smirk. Oh well. God's fair yah ? I have enough smile *off* camera anyway.

Time flies. Everyone is in uni. Ord ORD oRD ... and the day of liberation and freedom and deliverance and salvation looms near ... hail the 7th of November 2006!

I think smiling on camera feels like lifting 50 kg with my cheeks... bleahx. Signing off, need to wake my mum to cook ... woahhahaa. :D. Over n out.

Moi linux Desktop!

2006-09-26T21:37:00.000+08:00

Moi souped up linux desktop ... pretty nice eh? Ala Mac OSx ... dunned to go get one le!

In case those interested ...

1. Kde 3.5.2
2. Baghira Theme
3. KxDocker (the panel below...)
4. OS-L icon ... :D
5. Walpaper from NASA webbie
6. Kubuntu Linux 6.06

wanted to try xcompgr and transset and all the other nifty stuff, but after installing fglrx drivers, the damn sound drivers refused to work. Oh well ..

So far, this distro is by far the easiest to install other programs with. Although setting up everything was a pain in the ass, i think the results were worthed it yes?
============================================================

Working to get the Fire fighting, Nursing Care badge ... But must wait for Chui Yee's reply [YOU READING THIS? Haha. :D] And national activity badge too ... maybe they'll do the national heritage trial again ...

KOTO >>> FRAGGED

2006-09-17T22:04:00.000+08:00

ALL PASSED KOTO !!!

This was the single bestest piece of news i've heard in a long long time. Seems like all the efforts put in by everyone actually paid off. :D. I think no one in the corps managed this feat before ... :D.Well done pple. Now, we can really focus on the rest of the CPBS badges.

randomly gererated musings

2006-09-17T01:30:00.000+08:00

I realised software has alot in common with people in general. Whenever you come to rely on them too much, they always seem to disappoint you at the end.

Haven't blogged in a quadrillian years. Writer's block. Or maybe its a testament to my schedule being packed and all. (But we all know thats NOT the case) Whoever we might be.

On hindsight, it wasnt a waste of time. If any, it provided me with a comprehensive first hand experience of the psyche of man. Paranoia and selfishness chief among them.

Paranoia: Now, what would you do if you lost something which you shouldnt have (but then, what should you lose? (fats?)), and the consequences would be ultimately dire (no exaggeration here). Given you have 2 days to consider all the possiblities, work out all the alternate realities which await on the 3rd day,

I've fondled with the thought of taking (stealing) from the person i despised most, I pondered about burglary. Even forgery. Above all, I didnt want to get caught. No. Way. In. Hell. I wasnt to get punished for something I didnt do.

The good thing was someone in fact took my map but mistake a few months back, and forgot to return it to me. But every now and then, I considered what if it DIDNT come back to me?

Selfishness; To each his own. To hell with the rest. Often I had the choice to help out, but who in the right mind would? I found out helping out in such an organisation wouldnt do one any much good. At the end of the day, you would be left doing MOST of the work. So why bother? Lay low, ignorance in this case, is bliss.

I'm disgusted by my men. Ethics, character. But maybe their disgusted with me for the same reasons too.

Its always difficult to find a perfect balance. Be good, you might come across as over friendly, too familiar, and you might even invite phonecalls at odd hours at night. Be bad, you're an insensitive bastard who should get a life and curse you if you ever do.

Maybe we were never meant to understand the generation other than ours. I don't remember myself being like that. Vile. Over sensitve. (Maybe I'm guilty of this) An outlook of their world that is laughable at best. I worry for them. Us. I bet if the smartest don't know who Benjamin Sheares was ... Its apalling. Perpostrously ridiculousy disgusting. Thats the word. D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G.

Seems like their world revolves around them and them alone. Either you're a friend, or you're an enemy.

Why do people complain about having too much homework when somewhere out there, thousands are yearning for a chance to study?

We are so lucky and we don't know it. That, I think, is our biggest fallacy.

To all the pathetic little whiners: We have a long way to go.

Myer Briggs Test.

2006-07-13T18:57:00.000+08:00

"Creating order out of chaos" is one extraverted thinker's way of describing her volition. Determined, logical, critical, they love a challenge, especially one that will allow tangible improvement in productivity, efficiency or profitability. They are direct, finding the quickest, most direct path between what is and what should be.

They excel at implementing ideas and are often on the lookout for good ideas worthy of their attention. They are quick to organize, orchestrate, find resources, coordinate, and follow through to the end of a project. They love a problem, especially one that will make full use of their competencies, their logic and sense of order, justice and fair play.

Many find competition to be stimulating and fun. "These are the rules of the game now let us play." Fairness is sharing and respecting the same set of rules, so may the best one win. And since they readily acknowledge that there will be a winner and a loser, they would simply much rather be the winner. So they hone their strategies on the fine knife of experience and sharpen their skills to meet the next challenge head on.

They love having greater challenges bestowed on them as a result of having successfully met the last, as this attests to their competence and skills. They appear dispassionate because of their impersonal and objective approach, but close observation will reveal deep passion and enthusiasm as well as sensitivity, especially to cherished ones. However they expect others to roll up their sleeves as they do and meet the task in spite of personal hardships or discomfort.

They have little tolerance for personal whims that threaten a smooth running operation. They are direct and honest with most things that displease them and expect others to do the same. Their humanity shows in their sense of fairness and justice as well as their love of humour

do you ever .. rem·i·nisce?

2006-04-20T23:46:00.000+08:00

To Whom it may concern:

Believe me when I say I couldnt give a damn whether you guys go to OTC or not. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being apathetic. Just exasperated. Thats an adjective I've used one two many times on people I shouldnt have wasted my time on. I pray that it not be you. Character shows in times of adversity, not when times are good. I question my previous judgement of you people.
-------
If someone is going to sing "You're my Sunshine" again, it won't be me. Please understand that waiting is irrelevant. Its just going to hurt the both of us. Memories, the past, should just stay that way. Shadnt say much more, you know the rest. Give it, me, us up.
-------
I would like to appeal to all concerned to try NOT BE A PLAGUE by confronting people and telling people who shouldnt be told things. You'll just destroy the corps.
-------
Stop blaming the TIC. Its irritating, or for lack of a better word, plain fucked up. That, spreads like a virus. I trust you know what I mean.
-------
For those hanging on and waiting, push on.
------
For those waiting: WTF IS TAKING SO LONG ?!

Missing: PL (in taiwan w/ bf), LL(go senco la!), MeiMei ... Kayee ... and the usual bunch who are shorter than me ... xcept da ting .. heh~

bro..k...en

2006-03-26T02:31:00.000+08:00

I was going to upload some music to workout to, so i went to my sis's room to grab my Creative Muvo, and plug in into the computer. Wanted to upgrade the firmware, but something was amiss, it kept giving me a 'hardware lock' error. Now, any idiot would have known the some process has a memory handle of sorts on the Muvo, so I tried to end all programs. But still no go. So I tried to plug it out and put it into another USB slot, and ....

Only the innards of the player were left. The pristine white casing of my beloved Muvo, shattered.

There was only one person who could have used it. But she didnt admit to any wrongdoing. The battery was some weird brand that I wouldn't have used. She was the culprit, without a shadow of a doubt. But she was adamant: "I didnt do it."

Fucking hell. It was my god damned 200 bucks from my first NS pay, and now this had to happen. First the LCD screen cracked (she did it), and well, it was the whole Muvo to strip. Well done.

I felt like breaking something. In fact, I feel like breaking something now.

ben, unix, me.

2006-02-24T23:05:00.000+08:00

After each passing day, I get more cynical of the people around me. But what was disturbing was this:

PC called the entire platoon into the coy office. Without Sur. He then went on to explain that there was going to be a change in sect. comds., and that Sur was going to be transferred to Coy HQ. Then he said, "Finally, our weakest link is gone."

Now, Sur might not have the best of work ethics, but to say this in front of the men, even I felt heated with shame. Which begged the question, "Who was going to be the next weakest link?"

Well, fuck that. Cos' they're regulars and your truly isnt'. Just do my part and be glad in it. Out.

mOi liL iNdiA tRiP .. nIce ~

2006-02-20T10:18:00.000+08:00

left: the awe inspiring benja ... er. Taj Mahal. right: slacking on the job with a bag of Lays on my m113 :-)

left: me and moi section. dunnoe why i was wearing white gloves. right: sect comds and veh comds and our lovely PS and PC. also slacking on the job.

Happy New Year ... NOT.

2006-01-01T00:45:00.000+08:00

Happy new year people. I don't know why people go to countdowns ... I don't see logic nor reason in it.

Had an SMS from her yesterday at 7pm, telling me she was hospitalised. My god ... twice in a damn year, what in the blue hell. This time it was pneumonia, and it caused her high fever. Now she's lying on the hospital bed sick.

Dont think I should visit her. She wouldnt give me the details even if I tried. And I wouldnt want to ask her parents or sister for that matter.

She says 'maybe' she'll be released tomorrow .. But I don't believe her. Just the day before she told me she was suspected to have Anemia ... and now this.

This new year ...
-> ORD!
-> Hopes she gets well ASAP
-> Dad's leg doesnt hurt as it did the year before
-> Ma continues to smile and be happy
-> SJ people shd stop screwing themselves up and start looking forward
-> Small sis doing well ...
-> The HCJC one doing exceedingly well ...

Enough for me already. Otherwise, I guess I have everything I want/need.

X'Mas Musings ...

2005-12-24T22:28:00.000+08:00

Every year, I seem to dislike Christmas more and more. It seems so commercialised, so misguided, so cliched. Touted everywhere is "the spirit of giving", "spread the joy" and god knows what else.

Spent the day at Grandma's place. Meals were as delicious, but there was a certain air of gloom. No one was truly happy, so to speak. Aunty Cat's family was visibly missing, after an especially strategic planned trip to Malacca. I wonder what the hell has she to avoid EVERYONE of us. Another stupid, petty "problem".

Two years ago, I had the most fucked up X'mas eve ever. Period. I didnt even know why in the blue hell I went to her place .. but it was horrible for the both of us. In the end, I was gloomy at Grandma's place. Was the first time in 3 yrs I spent Xmas without her.

So ended the nerve wrecking chore of finding the suitable present, doing endless amount of interviewing and recon work, scouting for the best prices. "Hurray".

I don't know how long will it take for me to really let it all go, if its possible in the first place. Thankfully, there are things like FTX (full troop excersise) and BPT (Battallion Profiency Test) and ATEC and India to keep me well occupied.

I've wondered what would happen if we lasted till now. I think the answer is pretty apparent: We wouldn't have lasted. Too many problems lying ahead. Waiting for us to quarrel over it, to cry over it, to worry over it, and to break up over it. I'm even afraid to see her again. Well done.

Seriously, I think I did alot of things wrongly. I waited too long to start things up. And to stop things. Procrastinated incessantly to the brink of paranoia. Heh.

God damn it. I wanted to get quite a few things for myself, but in the end, decided against it.

Actually, I'm glad that I'm doing standby tomorrow. Everythings a blessing in disguise.

This is going to be long.

2005-12-17T22:56:00.000+08:00

I'll type out my thoughts on today's meeting. People who were made bored by me, my sincere apologies.

JNCO Passing & Failing

Firstly, I think the everyone, yes everyone, should pass JNCO. Because for this few fundamental reasons : -

1. Failing JNCO would act as a barrier in the course of their CCA ...
2. Which in turns affect their education ... which in turn might/ might not lead to further repurcussions.
3. Camp performance is not representative of Corp performance
4. A persons qualities are not quantifiable. i.e. represented by numbers.
5. Its not always the trainees fault. Environmental factors count. (Family background)
6. What constitutes to an "Attitude Problem"?

I think there are always much much better solutions rather than to simply fail someone. We fail all the time. But that doesnt mean we should give up the next try. Success could just be waiting around the corner.

Besides, alot of time I think it is us instructors who didnt do a good enough job in training our kids, which brings on to my next point ...

Elitism

Its just human nature to focus on the positive and magnify it. We always focus on the strong, the smart, the beautiful. We dismiss the mediocre, the plain, and the weaker people. In JNCO, SNCO, i think we've fallen in this "trap".

The I/Cs are always the good ones. Question is: If they're good, why put them in place to be I/Cs?

The Answer and Simple Truth:

Because the camp "has to be run smoothly". Which I think ... is utter and sheer hyprocrisy, because the top always claim JU/SEnco as a "learning camp". How can it be a learning camp if only the "good ones" do the "learning"?

Again, the management has to feel good about itself because the camp has to run smoothly and with good I/Cs in place, it is bound to do so. They are afraid of screwing things up, which in turns reflects badly on them. Vicious cycle.

ES and the TIC from hell

No one is perfect. Everyone screws up. Some people screw up more the others. But it doesnt matter and life goes on.

The problem with us again is we keep focussing on the negative side, and keep mulling over history and opening wound after wound, perhaps to fulfil some perverse need to feel hurt and thus giving us another reason to hate him.

That is the problem. So solve it. Otherwise, it is NOT GOING TO END. Period. If we don't have a solution, let us at least not create any additional problems.

Cheow Hong, WX and the rest involved with the CCA thingie:

I really have this sincere believe that thisCCA open house is going to be a success. With the ideas we had today, we have a pretty solid framework to actually go all out to impress. Not just the kids but also our own guys. The movie, the tunnel etc are all very good ideas ... put tt in place i think we might be the best. --- That is how sure I am. It can be done. I can feel it.

To my dearestest Lee Ling who must have missed me during SENCO:

U've been missed dearly. If ever we have SENCO, (which we would), we'll work together again and create more havoc and mayhem and laughter and many more pleasant memories.

Feel like just writing something ...

2005-12-11T01:01:00.000+08:00

I've found out, you can never really forget a person. It doesnt happen just like that. No matter what you do, once a person enters and changes your life, you won't forget. So now there's a gap, and also probably the reason why I'm punching keys: Because I've no one to write to now. This month I realised, I had alot of dreams. (Alas, all in the comfort of Keat Hong Camp .. haha.) 5 mnts since everything happened. Only told PL about it yesterday ...

Read in the Straits Times or NewPaper, that bloggers usually discuss their lunch routine. Hope I'm not susceptible to that ... Who gives a damn whether you went to Heerens to buy some CD or .. I don't consider myself a blogger ... I've this notion that a blogger means: "Someone who posts something without using their brain with the intent to piss some people/organisation, which results in a fine". No no no, I'm not a blogger.

Quite excited in meeting my new section. Hopefully won't screw things up, which happens like usually. In the army that is. Maybe I'm not cut up to be a soldier. Haha .. maybe I'm just acting stupid. Hey .. maybe I'm not acting. Haha.

Just completed Lectures 0 thru 2 of the Computer Prog methologies ... hope it serves as a head start for someone slow like me.

Thinking about St John:

The people in St John, to me, are like family. I'll always get this warm hearty feeling whenever I'm back. Its always good to see some familiar faces. I think many people feel that way too, but then, its a double edged sword. (For those feeling a slight tinge of guilt, read on)

We always tell our instructors not to get over friendly with trainees, juniors, subordinates. But I think many would find it imposible to do.

Thing is, I find it a completely natural and easy thing to accomplish. But then upon close reflection, I found that sometimes telling and even showing people how to do things "right" still doesnt drive the message across. So I think the main problem is simply (me) getting people to do things MY way.

I've always been experimenting with different methods to deal with people. Methods often deemed undesirable. That being said, I've always give a bad first impression .. ha. One of my favourites is this: "Treat your suboridinates like a kite. Hold on to them, let them fly. But when they fly to high, reel them in a little" Although I'm uncomforatble with the word "subordinate", but I guess you get the general idea.

Nothing really changes.

I've contemplated what would PHS SJAB be with/without me. I came to conclude it wouldnt matter. We adapt, dont we. After 5 mnths, I've learnt to adapt. Or maybe not.

I'm puzzled why many of us worry about the most minute of problems. Unless it a big problem (however you defind "big"), I would really wish for them to deal it themselves. How would they learn?

Think of it this way: Life is one BIG Sit Test. U get the basic rules, you play the game with whatever materials you have. Minimal guidance. Same with life, you don't hold their hands all the way. Its good to sit back and watch. (eg: SNCO, JNCO watever -CO, its no kick. Worry for #$^&!)

For those few reading, if you can comprehend, good for you. you can get angry with me, but the only reason you guys would be angry it because wat I said struck a chord with your concience.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Something's missing in my life, I feel. I guess this is what happens when its late, you're t ired, have too much on your mind, have a nice sad love song playing, when the end of the year draws near, miss certain people around you, and worry.

This Blog is for Chiying .. who said i cheated her. haha.

2005-12-08T23:11:00.000+08:00

Woah ~ I'm hooked on "Hung Up"... Perfect retro disco song ... time to turn up my disco lights ... (I reall have one Disco Ball ... PL shd noe .. heh)

We had commanders training at 40 SAR on Mon and Tues ... supposed to do Delay Ops ... lucky never do .. cos need to dig shellscrap .. NOT GOOD. But its inevitable that we'll have to dig someday .. so till that day comes .. FTX coming up .. with BPT and all the other shit.

Might go with Bro Boon to Ms Chang's place ... my Sec 1 teacher ... long long long time I've never seen her. haha. Time to relive some cockster moments. Haha.

Finally know I'm going to be a Section Commander to Pl 3 Section 3 ... heard my PC had to "fight for us" to get into his platoon. Hope its a good thing ... haha. Platoon 3 seems to be the most guai one ... so thank god.. plus PC not bad himself. Haha ... yeah ~ I'm a happy man .. MK going to be my VC ... i think quite ok la ... plus he lives few blocks from me .

Jinping is one lucky girl .. went around taking pictures with Dick Lee ... Durian King ... lead actress from A Twist of Fate ... so shiok.

Cant go any further ... haha. Wanted to say alot of things ... But I'll stop for now.

Is anyone still reading this ? not me.

2005-11-24T00:44:00.000+08:00

My dad's friend once told him that whenever he put on his green (army) uniform, he would inevitably leave his brain at home. More often than not, I would cast that very notion to myself, wondering if by any freak of nature, I have indeed (abielt unintentionally, i hope) abandoned the grey matter residing in my skull.

Qi Song (aka Song Da Xia) is what I consider a nice guy, a friend. This is unusually rare to find in the army. One might immediately regard the previous statement as an utter load of bull, but allow me to continue. (Besides, I don't care what you think. :D) Anyway, on the second day of the OETI course, we were happily (lazily) chatting (kao-bei-ing) on top of a bird-shit assaulted M113. He was saying something like this:"Ben, the army sucks. Its fucked up." (Now, this normally won't come out of the mouth of a soft-spoken guy) So flabbergasted, I probed for more.

"See this regulars, they know their stuff well. I give them that. But whenever we screw up or do something stupid, they'll pull the excuse that WE'RE THE 'A' LEVEL BATCH, how come we don't have enough INITIATIVE, INTELLIGENCE, etc etc. Its like we're supposed to know 100% what they know within a few months when they've been at it for weeks!" "Haha," I said, "Then they'll pull that 3G soldier shit on us. Hell, I don't even think the Sgts bothered to read the OPERATOR'S manual, much less us. To quote one of the instructors ... "Motivated to learn""

Now, I have the greatest respect for NS and regulars and all the other people who serve the country, but I had to admit that he had a point. I think it just boils down to people's expectations.

In the army, as people will tell you, people who have "been there done that", is alot like life. You get bullshit, and more bullshit, but sometimes, something good happens. No wait, maybe it doesnt. Coz' someone changed their mind. Hey, must be flexible and adapt to changes ok?

Now, I don't even like most of the people in my course ... and that's baffling me to a (insert superlative) extent. I'd give you an example ... Call this Mr. H:

Mr. H has a computer problem. And almost everyone in my course knows I'm good at it. So one day, Mr. H suffers a hard drive problem. When he starts his computer, his BIOS flashes a cute little message as such: "First Master Boot Error". Oh no, he panics, and he calls Your's Truly.

Your's Truly RELUCTANTLY picks up the phone (he was in the middle of a scrabble game, dammit.) Before he mutters a word from the orifice and the front of his face (aka mouth), Mr. H bombards the handset with proffanities that would make your friendly neighbourhood gangster proud. So tryin to bear with him, Your's Truly offers some advice: "Hey, maybe your IDE ribbon cable is screwed .. try to check that out yeah?" Another bombardment of vulgarities. Now, tryin to keep my cool and resisting the temptation to slam the phone, I try to explain (!) WHY (!!!) it might have been the fault of the IDE ribbon cable. Vulgarities again. I hang up.

Half an hour later, he calls. Tells me he bought RAM, a 250 Gb drive and what not. Well done. I hang the phone up. Politely. I'm just to lazy to fill in the rest of the details. But you get the idea.

Maybe its the fact that they are from the "better" JC's or they're richer. They tend to despise guys from the less well known JCs (which are suprisingly few and far between in my course).

Clubbing, pubbing, splurging on MP3 players, clothes, shoes, PSP, handphones are of no rare occurence.

Now, as my really close friends will tell you, I consider frugality a virtue. And the above acts sickens me. For some unknown and untold reason. But I don't see the logic. Maybe, I don't think they see the logic of saving up. Maybe they just have really rich parents.

Many refer me as the guy with "muscles and no brain." It was the first time in my life I was insulted like that. Hey, maybe I'm dumb. That's why I didnt land in a "Top 3 JC". But I decided to use that to my advantage - And PLAY DUMB. Why not? Its a pretty good skill learnt from my experiences in the Army.

Yeah, maybe thats why I dont fit in. I don't like the people there. So I'll do things to irk them. To those smokers, I'll be laughing at u in a couple of years time. You silly, stupid little fools. Have a nice life.

Final thoughts:

Is uni going to be like that? I hope not ... but maybe I know the answer to that question. I don't think anyone found their best friend in the university.

The Gym is my santuary now. And home too. I do't htink I"ll ask anyone to follow me to the gym anymore .. ha.

Contemplations of the Future ... NOT.

2005-10-31T21:38:00.000+08:00

21 gruelling weeks has passed, and I finally got my third stripe! But as with any promotion I've been through, this one wasnt that different. When the euphoria of getting a new stripe had already worn off (2 hours max), the rational side of my brain begun to think about the responsibilities that lie ahead. Seriously, if I were to go to 40 SAR, I don't think I would even be good enough. Maybe some of my so called 'friends' can second that claim. Trust no one, that I've learnt from the army.

Might have a high chance of going to JNCO. But as always, whatever can go wrong will go wrong. So I'll just wait and try not to make any empty promises, lest geting my hopes up.

Musings ... for the week. Or just (more) trash.

2005-09-10T01:27:00.000+08:00

I was dying to play Battlefield 2, but there was no chance in hell my measly Radeon 9200SE was up to it, even if some hacking had been done. I had the insatiable temptation of ridding myself of 200 bucks just to get a new card. But then ... with that amount of money, I think my choices were still limited. So in the end, I just forgot about it. We'll see how Warhammer 40k works out then .. :)

Going to Clarke Quay with PL and Mab tml. Hurray ... Excited about the Taiwan trip. Ma as usual is worried. Wonder how to calm her down ... haiz. She's my mama... and I love her loads. :P

The Signal store is finally settled and done with. God, I wonder how Sgt Neo managed to put up with such shit. He's an angel, I tell you.

Seem's like she's in bad shape. If you're reading this:

Find someone you can lean on.
Of course I don't know how it feels.
But somehow you must find a solution.
And it cant be that bad.

Not in the mood for any decent self-respecting title

2005-09-07T21:50:00.000+08:00

Today, has been one of the most paranoid, frustrating, crazy, and exhausting days.

Paranoid: Had to check and recheck and recheck etc.. the stuff inside the ops box. Don't want to sign any extras. But then, I have a feeling I might just get that. Something ALWAYS gets screwed up. I can even memorise the freaking nos. on the number locks. Damn.

Frustrating: Fucking BX asshole. Fucking Land Rover Set. Fucking CCO. BX had to pack the ops box, leaving us to deal with their less than complete land rover sets, which amounted to an explosion of expletives at the CCO side. And mine.

Crazy: TCC bloody stunned two VF and kept it in their cupboard. While we were searching high and low for it. For BX.

Exhausting: Don't know after how many phone calls, how many trips to ATC, did we managed to get the whole damn thing sorted out. For our side at least. BX still owes CCO:

: 3 SEFZ cables, 3 FZLS and 1 RF Cable. Good luck to Aaron. Who chose a perfect time to slack in the sick bay. Weakling.

Someone told me uni quite stressful. Pui!

Damn, Bon Jovi never sounded so good. Maybe its the extra bass, or my half-fuck speakers (they're my pride and joy). Must get changed soon. Nights out for me is going to end.

5D 4N Lim Chu Kang Laager cum Battle Course

2005-08-27T17:30:00.000+08:00

We expected the worse already - Combining the 'Shaggness' of Ex Nutcracker, the Vigorous Section Mission Ex and god knows what. Phew ... it wasnt that bad. Haha ... but 5D 4N can shag out anyone.

Battle Course, in retropect, was pretty kewl. We could sit inside the vehicle and travel for 3 km round and round and up and down LCK ... haha. Of course there were the weird screw-ups. Post admin was hell. Different from Infantry. Hahaha. Shit ... those ASLC buggers are now SGTS.

2 weeks to ROC. Time flies in Armour. :) . So exciting. Pa already standby for me to buy his liqour. Heeeehee. Ma only worried how to call me in Taiwan. Hahha. I think going to be quite fun...

Must learn voice procedures ... haix. Not really good at it.

NDP Pix ... And the Jian Wei Hse Episode.

2005-08-16T00:21:00.000+08:00

Here are the long delayed NDP Pix ... check em' out! (Pix Always make a blog livlier)

Went to BBQ at Jian Wei's place ... quite fun, with like 8 guys from the bunk. Den went to his place to fix up a newly upgraded comp ... here are the specs:

1) A Decent MSI Micro-ATX Mobo ... have VGA, Sound, Lan.
2) Radeon 9250 Vid Card w/ 128 MB Video Ram
3) Kingston 512 DDR-RAM
4) Casing (Power Supply incl.)
==> For $380 ... haha ... not bad yes ? Quite a good deal in my humble opinion.
(Plus $50 service charge :). Poor poor eyes got skewered from reading the pricelists(s))

Recycled the Harddisk and Cd-rw and monitor .. the rest is new. Song bo. Woah, shagged out. I'm going to hit "Publish" ...

Another Computer(s) Resurrected

2005-08-13T18:16:00.000+08:00

I think I havent posted it yet ... so I shall just post it now (DUH!)

For the past week, Ultra coy was posted at Marina@Carnival ... We were in charge of doing static displays. Khuan Loon, JX, Ant, and me were incharge of the HMG and the AGL and the Bushmaster Cannon. Lots of cute kids came about ... and some very old men. Had the privillege to meet a few guys who were the first batch of NS men ... :-X

And I did a lot of computer work there.

First was 2WO Toh's laptop. He was planning on selling it, but its operating system, no matter how he tried, couldnt load. Kept coming with a "NTLDR not found" error message. He told me he was like spending 4 hrs each day for 2 weeks .

So I was fiddling with the laptop to see whether could get it back to life... almost everything failed. So the next day, I brought my usual arsenal of CDs ... popped in EBCD and ran the memtest for the fun of it. (I didnt mention we formated at least 10 times and installed the OS at least a dozen times - We had time to kill) And poofed! Memtest should error messages on the RAM ... so I got out a jackknife and took out the screws and BINGO... the blasted CONFIGMG message disappeared and everything was good to go. Heh heh.

Now, MWO Eddie saw this ... and he told me, "Soldier, I have a laptop which aint functioning. I gave my Son-in-law who's a computer engineering grad and a capt and he cant solve it. I sent to NEC and they told me to get a new motherboard. I don't care whether you knock it, throw it around, just try to get it to work." Stunned. I plugged in the power supply, and the damn thing was comatosed. Not good. Stressed already.

I took out the jack knife again, and despite 2WO Toh's objections (cos' he already tried to change the RAM), I still unscrewed the damn cover, and removed a piece of the ram... AND IT WORKED! I'll be damned ... haha. I think it was a faulty RAM slot ... MWO Eddie was overjoyed ... haha. To say the least.

And just yesterday, my damn computer gave way. Shit. Couldnt fix it yesterday ... but just now just got it fixed. I still don't know what the problem was, but I had to remove the idiotic processor to get the thing working again. Thank god!

Then today went to Ant's house to fix his computer. Actually can, now cannot. (Pardon the singlish!). Seems like it starts ... then it stops. I have an inkling that the power supply is sluggish. Hence causing the power failure. This one is proving to be difficult. And I already accepted the $20 payment! (Cause' it was working OK when I left. Always the case.)

This week we're having long weekend !! TILL TUESDAY!! WOO HOO!! Haha ... SOC I'm left with one more ... one more Standard Obstacle Course to clear ... I broke my personal best ... quite happy. 9:12 ... still not under 9 ... but considered not bad ... haha.

My Very first Program ...

2005-08-05T22:09:00.000+08:00

Saw this kewl thing ... ok, I'm centuries behind ... but I think it just looks cute. SHIT really happens ... (for those who havent figured out the apprent joke yet)

Hurray! I got my very first program up and running ... nothing big - All it does is multiply, calculate the circumference of a circle and some other stuff. Here's the source code for one of the programs hand-typed by yours truly:

#!perl -w

#Write a program that promopts for and reads a string and a number on
#separate lines of inout and prints out the string the number of times
#inducated by the number on separate lines. Use the x operator. If the
#user enteres fred and 3 .. the output should be three lines.

print "Please enter a number\n";
$number = ; print
"You have entered '$number'. Now, enter a word\n";
$word = ;
print "You have entered '$word'";
$result = $word x $number;
print "The results from this program are:\n$result";

#Did a mistake ... word should always precede number..
#chomp is used to remove a newline (\n) from the character.
#for example, if chomp were to be removed from "word" (assuming 'ok' is used)
#the result would show okokok instead of a neat list. :)

This is the furthest I've got from ever trying to get into programming. I guess I shalt have to go all the way. I'm hooked.

Went out with Winnie just now... walked from Dhobby Ghaut to Bugis. Quite fun ... hehe.

The 3rd Endeavour Begins...

2005-08-05T12:43:00.000+08:00

I simply loath the Blogskins website. First off, it has a strikingly poor layout. Secondly, it's exasperating to find what I wanted, if I even knew what I wanted. And if you're expecting a Point Number Three, I'm sorry, the grey matter residing in the numb skull of mind seems to be malfunctioning.

{Had to book in today to Hotel Gedung, to have some briefing by the AGTS guys. Tomorrow's going to be a day off, so most of us were in high spirits. Although we had a minor problem: We didnt know where to go. I guess you could place this as a somewhat happy problem.}

I deleted my 2 other blogs. I'd cite the reasons a being unmaintained and lacking a (usable) tagboard, but I just don't want to remember any (happy/unhappy) memories. All messages are gone, though hard to accomplish at first.

[Went to Orchard to hunt for O'reilly's Learning Perl a.k.a. The Llama Book. I think I just might infringe copyright again. Sidenote: There's such thing as a "CopyLEFT". Thank god it wasnt a wasted trip. I had my "Learning Vi" Book already ... :)

In case for those unenlightened:-

Perl stands for practical extraction and reporting language. Sounds cheem, but I think its quite cool.

VI is a editor .. grand daddy of editors. Extremly powerful. Highly arcane. (to me, that is)

If you're wondering whether I'm out of my mind (yes) or left with nothing better to do (no), I'd leave you to your own judgement. (What's your biz anyway?)

{[ I don't mean to whine, but SOC 2 was the most siong ever. Till know my shoulders still ache. Should have upped the weights to 14.5 kg earlier. Bleah.}]

I love being in Armour. Sgt Neo rocks... haha. I'm like some newbie Sec 1 gushing over ... I can't imagine. Still don't know why Huat couldnt' lift the damn AGL (=Automatic Grenade Launcher). (Weighs 33.0 kg) Miss our bunk training. We don't get that already. Forget it, will still train myself. No one, Nothing will stop me.

Previous weeks were quite hectic. Did a major screwup pertaining to the signal stores. Just typed this to Ling (she's on MSN) >> NS ... ... only reaffirmed my cynism towards some of my fellow peers ... ... that a good majority of them are selfish fuckers who don't give a damn about others by themselves.<<

I finished 2 books in a week. Borrowed a "Essential Clive Barker" ... thrilled... cant wait to start. Acutally, I already did. Haaa... ...

Yesterday was Pa's birthday, and we had a wonderful meal at Jacks place at AMK. Worried about his leg. Was skimming through the medical report, and as I was engulfed by technical medical jargon, I was engulfed by emotion: Fear, Anger, Concern, Contrite all lumped into a great big ball stuck in the narrow confines on my throat. I wonder how he can stand the pain all day, 24/7. Wonder whether the operation (if any) would lessen the pain. I hope it does, if the medical report is to be believed.

I'm getting sick of this restless feeling inside me of late. Very irritating. And I don't know whats the cause of it. Loss? Lost?

ben, unix, me.

Post #68

TMTOWTDI

Spring Cleaning. My Bookshelf.

I see your smile.

Bo Way Gong*

Stunning XMas.

import java.util.* insertTitle{};

Clarke Quay - First EXOC meeting.

M'sia Trip !

I Think HuiYing would like this ...

ToDoList[]

public class MabBdae { //insert code }

i-*dunlike*-Phones

"Last Post, 12 Jul"

School starting ... yay!

bitchin again.

Ling's Endorsement.

Inertia.

Top 10 Most beautiful people of all time ~

Of Donkeys and Assholes.

Falling in love ...

Rambo Rambo

DCB HooOoOooO!

Tsk tsk, naughty naughty.

PD: Jogathon

Badges Galore ... and a C.B.

For Those About to Rock ...

ACDC Blogskin ?!

Bro's Outing

Things Teachers Wish They Could Tell Their Students...

Tips for First Time Relief Teachers

Tips for First Time Relief Teachers

Lil Sidetrackin'. Blogging Rampage. FlagDay OWNING!

Flag Day 2007

March 29 ... just a couple more days ...(Waves to all the "pri-sch" kids")

Bye 2B

FAC hoo ~

Finally (finding the time) blogging

When love kills love ...

Completed Corps Logo .. I Hope ...

This post is dedicated to Ling.

Promo Photos ... (how come i cant smile?!)

Settler's Cafe @ Holland (hor-lan)

Moi linux Desktop!

KOTO >>> FRAGGED

randomly gererated musings

Myer Briggs Test.

do you ever .. rem·i·nisce?

bro..k...en

ben, unix, me.

mOi liL iNdiA tRiP .. nIce ~

Happy New Year ... NOT.

X'Mas Musings ...

This is going to be long.

Feel like just writing something ...

This Blog is for Chiying .. who said i cheated her. haha.

Is anyone still reading this ? not me.

Contemplations of the Future ... NOT.

Musings ... for the week. Or just (more) trash.

Not in the mood for any decent self-respecting title

5D 4N Lim Chu Kang Laager cum Battle Course

NDP Pix ... And the Jian Wei Hse Episode.

Another Computer(s) Resurrected

My Very first Program ...

The 3rd Endeavour Begins...

i-dunlike-Phones